or Powell's or me• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
•
"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
•
"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
August 13, 2010
Jeffrey Goldberg Still America's Preeminent Propagandist (Part II)
I'M GOING TO KEEP YELLING AT EVERYONE COMING HERE UNTIL $2000 HAS BEEN DONATED BY YOU ALL TO CONSORTIUM NEWS, THE WEBSITE OF AMERICA'S GREATEST INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER, ROBERT PARRY. BUT THE YELLING MAY SOON BE OVER, BECAUSE MORE THAN $1,800 HAS NOW BEEN GIVEN. MANY THANKS TO THOSE WHO'VE CONTRIBUTED SO FAR. PLEASE BE SURE TO LET ME KNOW IN COMMENTS OR VIA EMAIL IF YOU'VE SENT MONEY. MORE DETAILS ABOUT WHY I'M YELLING AT YOU HERE, WITH INFORMATION ABOUT NON-VALUABLE PRIZES YOU MIGHT WIN HERE.
Part I is here
My favorite part of Jeffrey Goldberg's long article about Israel attacking Iran is all the discussion about tables:
Barack Obama has said any number of times that he would find a nuclear Iran "unacceptable."..."The world must prevent Iran from obtaining a nuclear weapon," he said. "I will take no options off the table in dealing with this potential Iranian threat."..."The expression 'All options are on the table' means that all options are on the table," Emanuel told me before the meeting, in a tone meant to suggest both resolve and irritation at those who believe the president lacks such resolve...
"We are coordinating a multifaceted strategy to increase pressure on Iran, but that doesn’t mean we’ve removed any option from the table," [Deputy National Security Adviser Ben] Rhodes said...
"The president has said he hasn’t taken any options off the table," [said Dennis Ross]...
This is why Goldberg is such an excellent propagandist. Any actual reporter would have pointed out the glaringly obvious fact about this rote repetition: all options are not on the table. For instance, Israel is not going to consider giving up its own nuclear weapons if it were part of a deal to make it certain Iran would not develop its own. Nor is the United States considering giving up its nukes. Nor do we have any interest in a region-wide peace settlement that would satisfy us regarding Iran if it required U.S. withdrawal from Iraq and Afghanistan. In fact, the United States hasn't even signaled any openness to apologizing to Iranians for our numerous crimes against them (overthrowing their government, teaching the Shah how best to torture them, helping Saddam use WMD against them, etc.). Apparently we would prefer to attack Iran or indeed for Iran to get nuclear weapons rather than exercise any of these possible options.
It take real determination to self-lobotomize yourself so you don't notice this. Goldberg's ability to do so is why he's worth the big bucks. (And ponies!)
—Jonathan Schwarz
Posted at August 13, 2010 03:37 PMAnd worth EVERY nickel...
Posted by: JerseyJeffersonian at August 13, 2010 05:04 PMI gave $29. I picked that figure because Parry will ship you 3 of his books which is a great deal. I already have them but I'll donate them to the library.
Posted by: cemmcs at August 13, 2010 05:21 PM$10. Don't say I don't love you.
The donation page could use a Paypal option.
Posted by: will shetterly at August 13, 2010 05:37 PMyour friend setty
http://settysoutham.wordpress.com/
won a caption competition on my blerg:
http://incakolanews.blogspot.com/2010/08/kaption-kompetition-winners.html
Setty said "send the $8.50 to consortium news"
So i did.
The end, happy weekend
Posted by: otto at August 13, 2010 11:47 PMI donated $50.
Posted by: b.a. at August 14, 2010 12:40 AM"…and this is not THAT TABLE."
"what options are on THIS table?"
"what you see is what you get."
"i thought we were speaking metaphorically. are you saying that the absence of a table means the absence of---"
"there is more than one table. there was never not a table."
"are any of the tables in the room with us right now?"
"do you represent the iranians?"
"no."
"are you otherwise a stakeholder?"
"i bought the shells and paid the gunner."
"then: no. YOUR taxes paid for something ELSE."
"on a table."
"on as many tables as our generals on the ground recommend."
"are you still talking about killing people?"
"not with you."
Posted by: hapa at August 14, 2010 02:08 AMDon't forget shooting down their Airbus.
Posted by: Richard S at August 14, 2010 08:10 AMhttp://fafblog.blogspot.com/2009/10/q-our-threatiest-threat.html
[...]
Q: What should we do with Iran?
A. All options are on the table.
Q: Should we bomb them? Is bombing them on the table?
A: Bombing them must be on the table, because it is an option, and all options are on the table.
Q: What about starving them to death with sanctions? Is starving them to death with sanctions on the table?
A: In that an option? Because if it is an option, then it must be, as we have mentioned before, on the table.
Q: What about bombing their cities and burning their children and raping their livestock and feeding their people to thousands of millions of man-eating ants and piling their skulls into a heaping bonfire on the White House lawn while the President and the Cabinet and the Joint Chiefs of Staff dance naked in circles ejaculating wildly into the flesh-filled smoke? Is that on the table?
A: It would be irresponsible for this option not to be on the table, given that all other options, as we have said, are on the table.
Q: What about leaving Iran alone? Is that on the table?
A: No. That is not on the table, because it is not an option.
Q: Are you sure? It looks like an option.
A: It may look like an option, but in fact it is the East Tunisian mock option, which over the course of many years has evolved to mimic the distinctive coloring and plumage of the true American option, in order to better evade and intimidate predators.
[...]
