You may only read this site if you've purchased Our Kampf from Amazon or Powell's or me
• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show

"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket

"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming

April 12, 2010

Introducing...THE CIVIT

From Mike, here's a perfect example of the kind of beautiful weirdness only possible with the internet. He was screwing around with Xtranormal, which creates a cartoon with voices for you if you provide the script and pick from available characters and settings. As you see, he saw two possible characters who are clearly JV superheros and became inspired.

If any of it's hard to understand, the script is below.

• • •

Civet: So, Broccoli Man…is this your first superhero convention?

Broccoli Man: Yeah. Sucks we have to take the train. Hey, Berenice —

C: “The Civet.”

BM: The what?

C: My name is The Civet. C-I-V-E-T. Do you think I would’ve had sex with a radioactive wildcat if I wanted to be called fucking Berenice?

BM: Sorry. So, Civet…do you work alone?

C: Usually. Most guys can’t stand the smell.

BM: That smell is you?

C: No, it’s the Merlot. Of course it’s me!

BM: I thought we were passing a rendering plant. Does it come out of your bottom?

C: Can we talk about something else? Look at these glasses! They’re like the goddamn Holy Grail.

BM: Do you have anal sacs, or a set of glands or something? I’m just wondering how it works.

C: You’ll just have to wonder. Do I ask you if you shit green?

BM: Does your nose get used to it? Can you smell anything?

C: I make great money. Chanel No. 5 paid my way through college.

BM: Awesome! Then you can pay for dinner.

CURTAIN.

Posted at April 12, 2010 03:12 PM
Comments

What's wrong with taking the train?

Posted by: Tom Murphy at April 13, 2010 01:28 AM