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April 24, 2006

Let's Just Stipulate That Everyone Is Hitler

As we know, Iranian President Ahmadinejad is a potential Adolf Hitler. Saddam Hussein obviously was worse than Hitler. Al-Zarqawi is like Hitler in his bunker. And Hugo Chavez is acting just as Adolf Hitler did.

Yasser Arafat, of course, was the Arab Hitler. Back in 1989, Manuel Noriega's actions were just like Hitler's invasion of Poland. Even earlier, Egypt's Nasser was a miniature Hitler.

Meanwhile, Chavez himself has pointed out that Hitler would be like a suckling baby next to George W. Bush.

This raises an important question: is there anyone on earth who isn't just like Hitler? I think it would make everything a lot easier if we just accepted that the answer is no.

I realize certain people will dispute this. I'm not surprised. That's just what Hitler did.

Posted at April 24, 2006 04:22 PM | TrackBack

I like to see the world as divided between people who are Hitlers and people who are Schicklgrubers.

Posted by: WIIIAI at April 24, 2006 07:21 PM

this looks like the work of GOEBBELS!

Posted by: almostinfamous at April 24, 2006 08:33 PM

I always figured the Hitler thing was kind of a one-time deal. I guess it's possible that things would get that bad again, but not likely.

Posted by: Adam Kotsko at April 24, 2006 09:36 PM

Absolut Hitler.
Believe no substitutes. Trust only the real thing.

Posted by: Adolf Hitler at April 24, 2006 11:01 PM

Poor Mussolini. He breaks the ground for fascism, and all he's remembered as is the pear-shaped bald guy swinging by his heels, while some Adolf-come-lately gets to be the gold standard for evil dictators.

Posted by: Rabelais at April 25, 2006 07:38 AM

NOW can we have the Fourth Reich?

Posted by: donescobar at April 25, 2006 09:02 AM

OK, this helps a lot in figuring out humanity's general sense of things.

1. There's a little Hitler in each of us.
2. Then, thanks to Ward Churchill, there were the
"little Eichmanns" who died in the WTC.
3. We also feature the "little Himmlers," as in
Abu Ghraib. ("Ve haff vays of making you
4. Looking around me, we have a large number of
little Goerings. By their girth ye shall know
5. Finally, Mother Teresa was quite a bit like
Hitler's mother. Only shorter.
Ah, clarity.

Posted by: donescobar at April 25, 2006 11:10 AM

i can't help but think of "good hitler vs. space hitler" on goats.

advance to the second strip in the series to start seeing hitlers.

Posted by: a goat at April 25, 2006 12:42 PM

I understand that Mussolimi's granddaughter is currently running for office in Italy. Or maybe she ran in the same elections from earlier this month, I dunno. You have to wonder to what her opponent(s) compared her. Eva Peron?

Posted by: Jonathan Versen at April 25, 2006 02:49 PM

Vladimir Putin is surely like Stalin rather than like Hitler. Also that guy at the Million Year Picnic who refuses to agree with me that Foul Moudama is obviously a racist name since it assumes ignorance of Arab culture, and we wouldn't expect to see Jedi named "Puff Pastry" or "Chocolate Eclair", now would we - he's more of an Emperor Palpatine.

Posted by: saurabh at April 25, 2006 04:52 PM

re: Mussolini---did anyone ever watch Mondovino? One of it's interesting/creepy "notes"--which really comes out towards the end, in Argentina, is the creeping roots of history and economics in the wine. . .the French houses who sold to Nazis, the Italian houses who clearly have some admiration for Mussolini, the sort of very casual, tangential mentions of the Holocaust and anti-Semitism, the nervous, patronizing "appreciation" of the Mexican workers in Cali ("we give them a hat or a shirt . .they're like family!"), the easy racism of the Argentine overlords, and the tragic vibrations of oppression of the natives in the hovels of the landlord's tenants. The Mussolini bits are the most interesting, b/c somehow they're the most respectable---they're the most obvious, but they're frank and concrete and, by virtue of being forthright, fairly limited in scope and more easily understandable. Acknowledging that one's business was made easier by this or that non-stupid bureacratic decision by a tyrant is probably more honest than most of us are.

Posted by: Saheli at April 26, 2006 03:25 AM