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May 31, 2011


Shadows and Fog, a Woody Allen movie that came out in 1992, is atrocious. But it does contain one of the most surprising moments in the history of world cinema. It's neither a good surprise nor a bad surprise; it's just...surprising. I think anyone who's honest with themselves can admit that they expected to live and die without ever seeing this:

That's Jodie Foster licking Woody Allen's nipple. You can click it to see a larger version. It's available right this second to anyone with an internet connection and a Netflix account—just stream it and go to 1:10:05.

—Jonathan Schwarz

Posted at May 31, 2011 04:50 PM

I saw this movie when it came out...I kind of liked it.

I don't understand what is so surprising about the do know that Jodie Foster and Woody Allen are actors here, and that this isn't a candid photo of their actual lovemaking?

Personally I thought "Nim's Island" was far more shocking and dismaying than this picture.

Posted by: seth at May 31, 2011 05:18 PM

I don't understand what is so surprising about the scene

I know you're engaging in your standard pretend-to-be-an-idiot pose, but it's surprising for many reasons:

1. The female-to-male nipple lick is a rarity in movies.

2. Even if you knew you were going to see it in a movie, you wouldn't expect the recipient to be a 57 year-old nebbish.

3. Even if you knew you were going to see it delivered to a 57-year-old nebbish, there are several middle-aged nebbishes you'd likely expect before Woody Allen.

4. Even if you knew Woody Allen was going to be the recipient, there are many actresses you'd expect to see delivering it before you'd guess Jodie Foster. This is the only movie of his she's ever appeared in (I believe). And she's barely in it—she just shows up to lick his nipple and leave. Finally, she tends to be an especially cerebral performer, so it's not what you're expecting from her no matter who the recipient is.

5. It's odd to see given he's the director, which inevitably makes you wonder whether at one point his direction was: "in the next take, please lick my left nipple." And then after she did it, did he immediately shout "Cut...and print!" Or if it wasn't his direction, did she lick his nipple in every take? Or in just one take, and he decided that was the one to use? Etc.

6. It's in black and white.

Posted by: Jonathan Schwarz at May 31, 2011 05:37 PM

this is only going to fan speculation that woody liked paul better than john.

Posted by: hapa at May 31, 2011 05:50 PM

and THAT is only going to fan public confusion over who raised a weapon to which celebrity for whom, 30 years ago.

Posted by: hapa at May 31, 2011 05:52 PM

Comment by Jonathan Schwarz at May 31, 2011 05:37 PM....... I love it!

ps I thought, the expression on his face seemed to say, "What the heck is she doing?"

Posted by: Rupa Shah at May 31, 2011 06:28 PM

Shadows and Fog is based on Allen's play Death which has pretty much the same story without the faux-Brechtian, period-flick, Expressionist-cinema pastiche thang going on, and consequently is much better. The script is included in his collection Without Feathers along with some of his best prose pieces and the script to another play God which is a Greek tragedy send-up.


...if you're interested.

Posted by: weaver at May 31, 2011 11:18 PM

Yes, I could have lived without this, I wish I had never seen it. You have ruined my life forever.

However I loved your last post about the flag which resembles a pair of pajamas.

Posted by: rob payne at June 1, 2011 12:47 AM

Even more surprising: right after she licked his nipple she said "these pretzels are making me thirsty!" But that apparently was later edited out, alas.

Posted by: John at June 1, 2011 09:00 AM

I was listening to a call-in radio show about IMF guy's case and all things related to it. A woman called and said that when she was young she had a lot of affairs with rich, powerful older men, because they are extremely 'virile'.

Now, it's true that Woody Allen, as I see him on the screen, doesn't exactly radiate virility, but, hey, what do I know?

Posted by: abb1 at June 1, 2011 02:44 PM

Lookin' good, Woody. Often white men do not age well.

Posted by: Amandasaurus at June 1, 2011 04:04 PM

"White men do not age well."

Thank you for this wonderful insights, it is so marvelous I would not have thought it afore.

Keep up the great work!

Posted by: rob payne at June 1, 2011 04:22 PM

You people do realize that he's always made a point of being funny-looking, right? I was about to say, "At least he's got his hair," but after doing a quick image search I'm not quite certain what's going on with that.

Posted by: godoggo at June 1, 2011 08:56 PM

Oh, Rob.

Posted by: Amandasaurus at June 1, 2011 09:12 PM

I lerve it. I luff it.

Posted by: N E at June 2, 2011 07:15 AM

"Often white men do not age well."

Yeah, but have you seen old white women? Gross.

Posted by: seth at June 2, 2011 09:42 AM

My favorite hot old white woman is Emmylou Harris.

Posted by: godoggo at June 2, 2011 12:24 PM

Speaking of surprises, the first new post in two years has gone up at my eponymous blog. It's a continuation of a discussion here on which the week allowed for adding comments had elapsed.

Posted by: mistah charley, ph.d. at June 2, 2011 07:23 PM

Emmylou, also lookin' good.

Posted by: Amandasaurus at June 2, 2011 08:24 PM

Unfortunately, his erotic film "Got Woody" never came to fruition...

Posted by: BenSix at June 3, 2011 01:19 PM