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May 02, 2010

Barack Obama Officially Becomes Grotesque Monster

It's one thing for heads of state to murder people. That's just part of the job description. It only becomes truly obscene when the people in charge start making jokes about the power of life and death they wield over others.

Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to Barack Obama:

OBAMA: Jonas brothers are here, they're out there somewhere. Sasha annd Malia are huge fans, but boys, don't get any ideas. Two words for you: predator drones. You will never see it coming. You think I'm joking?

According to the New America Foundation, Obama has killed somewhere between 109 and 188 civilians with drones during his presidency.

Note also that, according to the Washington Post gossip column, this was one of Obama's "sharpest quips" at the White House correspondents dinner.

Via Charles Davis.

—Jonathan Schwarz

Posted at May 2, 2010 12:56 PM

Unlike Republican jokes about mass murder, Democrats joke so they won't get assassinated. The difference is clear.

Posted by: Dennis Perrin at May 2, 2010 01:37 PM

I don't mind if he jokes about killing people but it's not even funny.

Posted by: cemmcs at May 2, 2010 01:49 PM

Art Silber was right. You already have to be a monster, first, to seek the job.

Posted by: Jack Crow at May 2, 2010 02:03 PM

The Big Book of Imperialist Jokes, strike again. At least Dubya had Colbert, this radical Socialist Islamist opted for...Leno. Change you can...oh I can't be bothered.

Posted by: RickB at May 2, 2010 02:53 PM

I thought EXACTLY the same thing when I saw the clip. I hate that correspondent's dinner anyway. All of those people in bed together yucking it up while there's so much torment and suffering going on around us.

Posted by: Zizzi at May 2, 2010 03:02 PM

If I had teenaged girls, I'd keep the horn dogs in check with threats of violence too.

Posted by: Xboxershorts at May 2, 2010 03:20 PM

Art Silber was right. You already have to be a monster, first, to seek the job.

That's right.

As I have said maybe 100 times on this blog, you don't become head of the Empire by questioning the validity of the empire and all that that means... part of which is becoming a murderer and being able to tell jokes about it which no one in the mainstream media will even care to notice.-Tony

Posted by: tony at May 2, 2010 03:23 PM

"so what you're saying is, if we make moves on your daughters, you'll blow up our neighbor's house?"

Posted by: hapa at May 2, 2010 03:27 PM


If the Jonas Brothers make a move on the First Daughters, Obama will have no choice but to invade Iran.

Posted by: Why oh why at May 2, 2010 03:46 PM

On a related note, please watch this amazing video of Iraq war vet Mike Prysner. Maybe a candidate for 5 dollar friday if ever there was one.-Tony

Posted by: tony at May 2, 2010 04:03 PM

And Dennis gets his revenge. Zing!

I disagreed w/ this post the moment I saw the headline in the RSS reader. I'm sorry, in my view you officially become an obscene monster when first you "cry 'havoc' and let slip the dogs of war." Joking about it is merely more confirmation.

Did George Bush only become a grotesque monster when he when he stood up at this same event and made jokes about the nonexistent WMDs?

Posted by: Rojo at May 2, 2010 04:33 PM

And the really funny bit is, I honestly can't say whether I feel anything at all having read that.

I mean, it's as though disgust/hatred are somehow 180° out of phase with depression/ennui, and so cancel each other out, leaving me simply numb and unfeeling.

I suppose that I was moved to write this means something, but I'm no longer sure what.

Posted by: NomadUK at May 2, 2010 06:41 PM


I hear you. I still feel the anger and the disgust whether it's triggered by a sin of commission or a sin of omission by Those Who Determine Reality. Yet I oftimes feel powerless to effect any change in the dynamic. The juggernaut grinds on in its remorseless progress. We're really and truly on our own here. We're overmatched in the larger arena, but still retain our agency in the conduct of our own lives. Perhaps trying to lead a life devoted to justice and humanity (insofar as we are able to see it), since living beyond oneself is 180 degrees out of phase with the ways of the Empire and its zero sum mentality, will serve to neutralize some of the Empire's baneful influence through the power of its life-enhancing counterexample. It may not be much, but it's all I've got.

Posted by: JerseyJeffersonian at May 2, 2010 09:18 PM

And apparently the Daily Show scribes helped Obama with his routine:

Imagine Jon Stewart's outrage if Bush had made that very "joke".

Posted by: gm at May 2, 2010 11:53 PM

Rojo, cant speak for Jonathan but this entry doesn't strike me as being quite that literal. Its more like the Bush WMD standup now has its Dem synchronicity. Whats "official" in Jon's post is the Gestalt of Imperial Ratfuckery (if you will).

Posted by: BenP at May 3, 2010 12:42 AM

BenP, I see your point, but I don't agree w/ it. This post would not have been written in the way it was if it was a Republican president making these same noxious jokes. Yet the policies are equally monstrous. So why the difference?

My guess is that Jonathan has still not fully weaned himself off the Demos-in-some-abstract-sense-stand-for-peace-and-justice juice (to be sampled daily in highly distilled form at DailyKOS and elsewhere). And I point to the post just prior to this one as evidence for my supposition.

Posted by: Rojo at May 3, 2010 09:59 AM

A new book released today uncovers for the first time where and how President Obama first met Weather Underground terrorist-group founder William Ayers,and it is much earlier than previously believed.

Posted by: Bob at May 3, 2010 12:00 PM

ooh boy, s Manchurian President, I can't wait!

So now fans of world net daily like bob are reaching out to make friends with the gang of lefties at ATR who can't name a president who wasn't an imperialist warmonger (because that's what you have to be to lead an imperialist warmonger empire after all). This should be fun.

Just make sure you make 'em disarm before you parlez, fellas.

Posted by: N E at May 3, 2010 02:08 PM

Sadly, the feminists are more outraged at the virginity part of the joke:

Posted by: Jenny at May 3, 2010 08:00 PM

I don't mind jokes about murder, rape, cannibalism, whatever. If it's funny, I'll laugh, even if in reality it's a disheartening reflection of our world. That said, the joke sucked. I can agree with "the feminists" (shouldn't we all be feminists?) that parents double standards are fucking stupid. It was cool to do coke, fuck everything that moved and drink as much as you could, but when it's your daughters' turns, that's not cool? Fuck you, hypocrites. And fuck your hot teenage daughters, aww yeah.

Posted by: ChrisV82 at May 3, 2010 08:20 PM

Ah, my young ChrisV82, I admire how effortlessly you move from "a disheartening reflection of our world" to "fucking stupid" and "fuck everything that moved" and (best of all) "Fuck you, hypocrites." I remember when I discovered the word 'hypocrites' in the Bible back when I was a pre-adolescent still reading The Good News. Exciting! I used that glorious word, like, every other sentence, especially about my sister.

And then a few years later I started dropping the F bomb with the word hypocrites, or as I recently heard someone say, "using the 'fuck word' a lot". Priceless.

But just last week I was at a niece's wedding, and some old drunk Brit geezer pushing 60 with a voice full of too much lust told me that he thought my 14-year-old daughter would be a really sexy woman in just a few years. The wedding was was lovely and I like my niece so I didn't even hurt him, though I fear my dear departed big brother was looking down on me from atheist's heaven with real disappointment about how much drunken restraint I showed. (Refrain: Where has all the testosterone gone, long time passing, where has all the testosterone gone, long time ago)

So, here's the thing, Chrisv82. You have now jinxed yourself, and you can be sure that one day you will have a hot teenage daughter that slimy old drunk guys will call sexy when you're trying to have a happy buzz and sick creeps will want to rape just who the hell knows when, let's hope unsuccessfully. Good luck with that. Aww yeah.

Posted by: N E at May 4, 2010 08:28 AM


Um, not really. We can understand a father's concern about his girls.

But Obama was talking about teen age boys, not 60ish Brit geezers, that he threatened to predator drone we assume to death.

Tasteless sick sociopath's joke? Definately. Hypocrite, yup.

Posted by: cripes at May 5, 2010 11:58 AM


I didn't like Obama's joke. It wasn't that funny, and if it had been, I would have liked it less.

Posted by: N E at May 5, 2010 02:28 PM

The joke is, stay away from my daughter or I kill you like I kill people in other parts of the world.

That's a joke that corrupt and powerful people can appreciate.

Posted by: LT at May 8, 2010 01:50 AM