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March 30, 2010

My Strategy: Hate Everyone

My strategy when thinking about politics has always been to hate everyone involved in every situation. This has rarely if ever steered me wrong.

So, I hate the Hutaree crazies for being violent idiots, particularly in an internet world where you can easily escape this type of idiocy if you choose.

I hate the FBI for getting them charged with "attempting to use weapons of mass destruction." (I guess WMD is such a productive term of propaganda the government thinks, "We can do SO MUCH MORE with this than just invade Iraq.") I hate them for possibly using a taser on a 12 year-old. I hate them for, as Jim Henley explains in this awesome post, quite possibly inventing a crime out of whole cloth as they've done so many times before.

I hate nice liberals for, as Charles Davis points out, focusing on mostly hypothetical Tea Partier violence while ignoring the genuine violence being meted out by Barack Obama. (Sentence of 2010: "Perhaps they shouldn't just be ignored, but until Glenn Beck's followers kill two dozen people in a remote village, I'm going to spend most of my time focusing on those with control over the tanks and nuclear weapons.")

I hate America's economic elite for deciding the best thing to do for working people in the U.S. rustbelt was punch them in the face over and over for the past thirty years.

Oddly, I find I can still like people in general and individually while hating all human subgroups. Come to my party this weekend!

—Jonathan Schwarz

Posted at March 30, 2010 03:51 PM

I'll totally come to that party if I'm in the neighborhood.

Posted by: Cloud at March 30, 2010 04:28 PM

"to the extent that we can affect change, we should concentrate our efforts on stopping the bombings that are currently being committed by our own elected government. preventing the bombings that MAY occur, if the rhetoric of the political minority gets further out of hand, is a distant second in my view."

this was a comment i wrote a few days ago after your post called "a suggestion" in which you said: "Someone in the progressive world needs to find a relative of someone killed in the Oklahoma City bombing who understands that was the result of nineties right-wing incitement, and get that relative on TV talking about how we're on the same path now. Things are getting fairly alarming, and we should be using any means we have to shame the right into tamping down the crazy."

and today you say: "I hate nice liberals for [...] focusing on mostly hypothetical Tea Partier violence while ignoring the genuine violence being meted out by Barack Obama."

so without trying to be rude, which one are you, jon? i've been a reader of yours for years and i'm really not sure.

Posted by: utica at March 30, 2010 04:35 PM

So, you're the opposite of Ivan Karamazov, who could only love people in the abstract, while being repulsed by people's individual faces.

Nice liberals: Digby is currently indirectly blaming the Teabaggers for the thing about teenagers bullying a young girl until she committed suicide. Because as anyone who actually was a kid can tell you, teenagers had never ever acted like sociopathic dickheads before until they heard Beck and Palin speak.

Posted by: . at March 30, 2010 04:40 PM

I contain multitudes.

But seriously, I've never denied that I have nice liberal tendencies. Also, I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to do something about right-wing incitement as long as you're not ignoring the government's violence. In fact, I think stopping both are complementary activities if you do it right.

Posted by: Jonathan Schwarz at March 30, 2010 04:43 PM

Sure, Jon, you have nice liberal tendencies. But you're a hypocrite unless you hate yourself for them!

Posted by: Aaron Datesman at March 30, 2010 04:57 PM

you're a hypocrite unless you hate yourself for them!

Believe me, I do. Oh how I do.

"He hates and loves the Ring of Nice Liberalism, as he hates and loves himself."

Posted by: Jonathan Schwarz at March 30, 2010 05:11 PM

I also was wondering what the heck that digby column was all about. But then again I usually wonder that about everything she writes.

Jon, good point about the "complementary activities." I always feel like that's the case; unfortunately I have no idea how to "do it right" or for that matter do it at all.

Posted by: ethan at March 30, 2010 05:22 PM

You're plagiarizing my political philosophy and claiming it as your own. Worse, Charles Davis says this in his comment section--

"As for Tom Friedman, well, I actually form my opinions by reading his columns and believing the exact opposite of whatever position he takes. Works like a charm."

Damn it, would you people try and have an original thought? My whole life's work in political theory is being stolen right out from under me.

Posted by: Donald Johnson at March 30, 2010 05:28 PM

Right Winger: "This is my opinion and you damned well better agree with it."

Left Winger: "This is my opinion and please don't steal it."

Posted by: anon at March 30, 2010 06:07 PM

In this world
hostilities are never
appeased by hostility.
But by the absence of hostility
are they appeased.
This is the interminable truth.

The Dhammapada: Verses on THE WAY
A new translation of the teachings of the Buddha with a Guide to Reading the Text
Glenn Wallis
2004, The Modern Library

Posted by: Freddy el Desfibradddor at March 30, 2010 06:18 PM

"I hate them for possibly using a taser on a 12 year-old."

I followed the link, and I think the post said that wives were tasered and that she and her son escaped through a creek, not that her son was tasered along with the wives. Bad writing skills on her part.

The post also claimed that the entire Michigan Militia had been raided and that the authorities have "hijacked" the MM website in order to hide this fact. So, take it all with a grain of salt, I think.

Posted by: Svlad Jelly at March 30, 2010 06:49 PM

As I ran, I thought how I hate any kind of mob–I hate mobs of sports fans, mobs of environmental demonstrators, I even hate mobs of supermodels, that’s how much I hate mobs. I tell you mankind is only bearable when you get him on his own.

--Steve Toltz A Fraction of the Whole

Posted by: Montag at March 30, 2010 09:19 PM

Posted by: N E at March 30, 2010 09:33 PM

Insanity in individuals is something rare -- but in groups... it is the rule.-Friedrich Nietzche

Posted by: Nikolay Levin at March 30, 2010 11:45 PM

What difference, again, between the War Hero and the Constitutional Scholar?

Posted by: Jack Crow at March 31, 2010 01:07 AM

"I actually form my opinions by reading his columns and believing the exact opposite"

There's a name for people like Tom Friedman: Oracle of Wrong. They're very valuable, and much commoner than regular oracles.

Me, I hate the FBI for resurrecting that old political-bullshit charge, "sedition". It practically screams "I have no case". Conspiracy to commit murder isn't enough for you, really?

Posted by: Nathan Myers at March 31, 2010 02:33 AM

I'd love to come. Where is it?

Posted by: Rosemary Molloy at March 31, 2010 06:16 AM

Anyone who hates everyone can't be all bad.

Posted by: NomadUK at March 31, 2010 07:39 AM

Don't you worry Donald. I will always see you as the Original One. The Marx to Jonathan's Engels. No, not that Marx. The other one.

Posted by: empty at March 31, 2010 02:53 PM

Possible title edit: My Strategy: Hate Everyone (Especially The Eagles).

Posted by: john at March 31, 2010 07:45 PM

long time
i bought
my gun
shoots just
'course i'm
shy to
touch the

Posted by: hapa at March 31, 2010 11:49 PM

Good on you, Jonathan. While we're at it, I hate dirty (arm chair) wannabe (self-styled) commies who bitch & moan & have all the answers & yet do fuck all about it. Take me, for example. I hate that guy.

Posted by: David H. at April 2, 2010 03:47 AM

Hi, Jonathan,

If you get around to it, you might want to note that the campuses are waking up.

Big movement to divest from Israeli war crimes at Berkeley and elsewhere:

Posted by: Boycotting Israel at April 2, 2010 01:35 PM