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January 19, 2010

Operation Elect Sarah Proceeding According to Plan

My sources in the Obama administration tell me their secret plan to make Sarah Palin president in 2012 has taken a huge step forward with the election of [Some First Name] Brown to the senate from Massachusetts. As I mentioned six months ago, Operation Elect Sarah has three key elements:

1. Fail to pass meaningful healthcare reform.

2. Fail to pass a second stimulus bill and thus doom the economy.

3. Collect giant wads of campaign contributions from Goldman Sachs.

Getting Sarah into the White House seemed like an impossible dream back in November, 2008. But these people are professionals. There's nothing they can't do.

—Jonathan Schwarz

Posted at January 19, 2010 10:02 PM

At last, Jonathan! Instead of griping about Teh Obama, you're telling us about the secret struggle between the factions in the government.

Posted by: Duncan at January 19, 2010 10:17 PM

given that they failed miserably in their first attempt in 2008, i am sure they have redoubled their efforts this time. they just have that can-do spirit!

Posted by: almostinfamous at January 20, 2010 12:56 AM

True but what's changed? Coakley's defeat provides no confirmation of the plan. It's not like Item 1 hadn't already been achieved - now they can just blame their failure to pass even meaningless health care reform on the GOP filibuster (coz it's not like the Repubs ever got anything passed without a super-majority, right?). And, in passing, if said failure means poor people won't be forced to buy health coverage from a private insurance company, that's a good thing.

Posted by: weaver at January 20, 2010 02:07 AM

I can only hope she succeeds, and so accelerates the decline of US influence as the rest of the world finally gets the message.

Posted by: NomadUK at January 20, 2010 02:09 AM

Nomad: I can detect a sense of schandenfrude in your comment. Are you hoping the U.S. citizens revolt or for foreign countries to revolt?

Posted by: jenny at January 20, 2010 02:51 AM

Either one will do.

Posted by: NomadUK at January 20, 2010 03:23 AM

What a great plan! I'm excited to be a part of it. She's definitely our cutest reactionary.

Sarah Palin 2012: crazy never looked so good.

Posted by: Carl at January 20, 2010 04:26 AM

Must we constantly relearn that there are many different ways to screw things up?!


I don't know if you ever read Perry Anderson, but he posits that European elites (Corporations) are pretty happy with the US filling its present role, that the EU is basically about protecting business interests, and that European politicians have to murmur protests for public opinion in their various countries, but ultimately they stand squarely behind the US's militarism. I find him persuasive.

Anderson has written that "little separates the market-friendly wisdom of one side of the Atlantic from the other, though as befits the derivative, the recipe is still blander in Europe than America, where political differences are less extinct. In such conditions, an enthusiast can find no higher praise for the Union than to compare it to ‘one of the most successful companies in global history’. Which firm confers this honour on Brussels? Why, the one in your wallet. The EU ‘is already closer to Visa than it is to a state’, declares New Labour’s Mark Leonard, exalting Europe to the rank of a credit card."

The problem is bigger than that ocean between us.

Posted by: N E at January 20, 2010 07:29 AM

The problem is bigger than that ocean between us.

Yeah, yeah, I know. But defending the indefensible becomes that much more difficult if the 800-pound (kilo?) gorilla in the room has been neutered.

And there is some history over here of people at the top losing track of their heads, which, I think, gives certain people some pause.

Posted by: NomadUK at January 20, 2010 08:36 AM

I guess your entry is satire, but I'm leaning toward the idea that there was and is an actual conspiracy between dems and repubs. I can imagine them agreeing that one side would put up an unwinnable ticket in order to elect a rep from the other (O.). Next, they get their turn, as arranged. This keeps the masters (corporations) comfortable and allows the populace, stoned as it is on texting and, to support the "two party" system as they're being screwed.
I can almost believe it...

Posted by: Rosemary Molloy at January 20, 2010 08:43 AM

Prez Shamwow's one job, the REAL purpose for which he was (s)elected, is to make disaffected (White) voters forget their animus against the (White) oligarchy, or to displace it onto Prez. S.

It was getting so the (white) Murkin proletariat was starting to notice how they'd been fucked by the (white) Oligarchy for the past at LEAST 30 years (it was longer than that, but the pain only started to be felt since Raygun's bargain with the CorpoRats to suppress wages and replace them with easy credit).

So it became necessary to deflect attention away from the faults and flaws and clusterfux of the Owners. The Dims' nomination of Obama was step One in that process (it could have been Hillary, either way; but it's easier to get (white) voters to hate a mixed-race man than a white woman).

Nomad, UK: The worst thing about the Oligarchy here is that they have NEVER been in fear of losing their heads...

Posted by: woody at January 20, 2010 08:48 AM

Luckily, she doesn't want to be President. Too much actual work. The Fox gig is perfect for her. Keeps her celebrity status, surrounds her with an echo chamber of people who think she's great.

Posted by: . at January 20, 2010 08:49 AM

Ah yes, Palin-Cheney 2012 - I can see it now.

We need to stop pretending that US politics is real. I want a new Constitution with no Senate, and no Electoral College and no corporate personhood. In fact, I'd like several. Let's break up this too big to fail country into 4-5 smaller ones that will each be too weak to run an empire. I will move to whichever one has the fewest knuckle-dragging teabaggers.

Posted by: Charles at January 20, 2010 09:56 AM

Sounds like Jon is channeling Walter Karp.

Indispensable Enemies was probably read by most you a long time ago, but I just got around to it.

Posted by: Bruce F at January 20, 2010 11:12 AM

it's easier to get (white) voters to hate a mixed-race man than a white woman

I beg to differ. It's much easier to get the locker room camaraderie (hate) on about a woman in a position of power than a man of any shade.

Posted by: empty at January 20, 2010 12:16 PM

Prez Shamwow's

This had me laughing out loud!!-Tony

Posted by: tony at January 20, 2010 03:31 PM

So the one thing that the OP doesn't mention is that this Brown guy could become a contender for the top position in the land.

Especially if he is more articulate than Sarah is (not a hard qualification to muster up.)

And his family doesn't seem as ridiculous as hers either.

Posted by: Elise Mattu at January 21, 2010 05:42 PM