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January 11, 2009

They Did It!

By: Bernard Chazelle

After secret peace negotiations between Olmert and Obama over the past few months, Israel has agreed to dismantle all of its West Bank settlements and allow all Palestinian refugees back into their ancestral homes. The Obama team, headed by Dennis Ross, has convinced all Israeli parties to sign on to the deal.

In recognition of Ariel Sharon's historic withdrawal from Gaza, now seen by all as the prelude to this breakthrough, the Israeli side has requested that his name be attached to the final agreement, a condition President-Elect Obama has agreed. Everyone is now waiting anxiously for the treaty to take effect, which, by common consent between American and Israeli negotiators, will happen the minute Sharon signs it.

— Bernard Chazelle

Posted at January 11, 2009 06:45 PM

how insensitive. What a lack of respect for a great leader. Sharon must be rolling over in his bed.

I'll be here all week (as will the Israelis).

Posted by: mathpants at January 11, 2009 06:57 PM

I knew a girl named Sharon. She played Ariel in a musical version of "The Little Mermaid". She sleeps with the fishes now but she's still very good about signing autographs.

Posted by: cemmcs at January 11, 2009 07:05 PM

Wait, do you mean "refugees" as defined by the UNHRC and applicable to, well, everywhere else? Or "refugees" as defined by the UNRWA and specific only to, well, Israel/Palestine?

I love overloaded terms that mean completely different things!

Posted by: curious at January 11, 2009 07:18 PM

Why not? In Chicago, "the dead" from their grave vote for the machine so Sharon can easily sign the treaty. And I hope, that is the 'only' condition "President-Elect Obama" has signed.

Wonder how that came about! I thought, President-Elect Obama said repeatedly, there was only ONE PREZ at a time and could not talk about Gaza massacre except show 'concern'? I must be fair and give him 100 days in the Whitehouse and see what he is going to DO!

Posted by: Rupa Shah at January 11, 2009 07:27 PM

Everybody wants to be a comic. Oy.
As funny as Jerry Lewis.
Oh, but I forgot...

Posted by: donescobar at January 11, 2009 08:47 PM

curious: computer scientist, right?

donescobar: I swear, it's uncanny! Minus your teutonic fixation, you're just like my 3rd grade teacher, the perpetually grumpy Mme Legrand.

Posted by: Bernard Chazelle at January 11, 2009 09:06 PM

Ah yes, can't take even take a light-hearted barb, Herr Professor.
You want teutonic--you got a case of "tierischer Ernst." Look it up and lighten up and get thicker skin.

Posted by: donescobar at January 11, 2009 09:26 PM

Blogmom would like to see less snippiness all around, please.

Posted by: Jonathan Schwarz at January 11, 2009 10:36 PM

Can't you just ink up his thumb and assist him in signing it with his mark?

But maybe they've thought of that already, and decided that if he signs it thusly, any excess ink splatter will render any provisions thereby obscured to be null and void. Darn lawyers.

Posted by: Jonathan Versen at January 12, 2009 05:21 AM

you know what they say, Jon (Versen): when in doubt, amputate!

Posted by: almostinfamous at January 12, 2009 12:37 PM