You may only read this site if you've purchased Our Kampf from Amazon or Powell's or me
• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show

"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket

"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming

October 15, 2008


I can't watch the debate, because I don't want to kill myself. Is anything happening?

—Jonathan Schwarz

Posted at October 15, 2008 09:18 PM

During Obama's replies, McCain has been staring into space with the sort of glassy-eyed fixed grimace you'd see on a Furby that's two seconds away from going for your throat.

Posted by: Penh at October 15, 2008 09:37 PM

Oh, Jesus, Jon, we've got a house party here in the rec room and I just Googled the phrase "change, obama porn." Does that give you any clue? (There's some interesting returns to that search, btw.)

John McCain has promised to buy my home, cool. But he keeps interrupting Obama and the moderator, kind of like an old main with dementia praecox would do.

The best part about the debate: the candidates and the moderator are all seated at the same table, however, which means McCain, albeit apparently medicated, is within reach of them. Just one lunge across the table and he's in head-butt range. Could happen any second. And for some reason, the new drinking game is how many times they say "Joe the Plumber." Joe the Plumber. WTF??

Now they're getting into Ayers and ACORN, and McCain is attempting to tie Ayers and ACORN together. Card-carrying communists and gay pedophile sex are surely next. You have made the right choice, Mr. Schwartz, and for that I commend you. And now, I am going to pour myself a drink. Vodka mixed with beer.

Posted by: MarcLord at October 15, 2008 09:43 PM

I'm not watching. The only reason I would is to hope against hope that I'd get to witness McCain losing it, because that would be hilarious. But I figure even on the off chance that that happened, it'll be on youtube soon enough.

Posted by: ethan at October 15, 2008 10:14 PM

Verb tense, shmerb shmense.

Posted by: ethan at October 15, 2008 10:15 PM

I'd like to say it was excruciating, but honestly it was the least worst of the three. Assuming Obama wins, it will be such a pleasure (and a relief) to listen to an articulate, intelligent, thoughtful person preside over the continued degradation of this country and the destruction of the planet for the next four years.

The only mild surprise: Obama saying he opposes the Colombia Free Trade Agreement in part because of the murders of trade unionists there. Other than that it was talking points all the way.

My personal favorite part: Bob Schieffer asking about the pressing global emergency of "climate control." Yes—what will we as a nation do to reach agreement on the optimum temperature setting for the air conditioner?

Posted by: John Caruso at October 15, 2008 10:44 PM

Another interesting moment: Bob Scheiffer mentioning that we used to import only around 30% of our foreign oil when Nixon took office, and now we are importing around 60% of our foreign oil.

I won't point out the obvious.

Posted by: weasel_word at October 15, 2008 11:19 PM

everybody talked about the federal expenditures increasing enormously in the bush years. nobody mentioned what the extra money was for. but mccain actually implied that the extra money was indeed for discretionary social spending and obama let that stand, like he let stand mccain's overton-windowing of "single-payer healthcare" as a synonym for "socialized medicine."

for those of you on some right-wing revival watch, mccain basically said that complaining about his supporters going verbally postal was the same as questioning their patriotism. that was actually scary.

Posted by: hapa at October 16, 2008 12:19 AM

I was really impressed by Obama's willingness to talk about the horrible government of Colombia, which is a major recipient of US aid.

When was the last time a major Presidential candidate criticized the human rights policies of a close US ally? Or spoke out in favor of labor rights?

I think Obama just won my vote. On the Working Families Party line, of course (I'm in New York).

Posted by: Seth at October 16, 2008 12:44 AM

Obama is against murdering Colombian civilians? WTF? So he is saying that he cut the funding of the CIA? YEAH!! O KAY!!!

Posted by: tim at October 16, 2008 02:43 AM

My favorite part of the debate was the part where everything got dark and I started to feel very warm and happy. Then I was riding a blue horse in heaven and John McCain was trying to lasso me with a stick of butter. Obama then flew in on a Oakland Raiders jersey and told me I was really special, but his words were made of birthday cake.
I'm sorry you missed it.
It was the best debate ever.

Posted by: RTT at October 16, 2008 06:09 AM

"When was the last time a major Presidential candidate criticized the human rights policies of a close US ally? Or spoke out in favor of labor rights?"

Jimmy Carter in 1976. Then he was elected and began arming and backing numerous human rights violators, from El Salvador to East Timor and back again. But I'm sure that Obama will be different. He just has to be, right?

Posted by: Dennis Perrin at October 16, 2008 07:31 AM

Joe the Plumber can kiss my ass!

Sorry. I play the piano, and I'm very upset that Paul the Pianist wasn't central in this debate.

And how about Jonathan the Blogger, huh? They at least could have mentioned him.

Posted by: Paul Avery at October 16, 2008 07:35 AM

they're both dorks. I tried to watch the 1st debate a little, but I lost patience after the 1st 15 minutes or so. Change, hope, tax cuts, those no-good aliens and foreign bankers, blah blah blah blah blah.

I seriously doubt you missed much.

Posted by: grimmy at October 16, 2008 11:02 AM

It looks like John McCain was able to destroy the vigilante plumbing career of some guy in Toledo, but other than that you didn't miss much.

Posted by: buermann at October 17, 2008 02:49 AM