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July 11, 2008

European Dumbassery

By: Bernard Chazelle

I. Italy wants to fingerprint all Gypsies. Why fingerprinting? Are yellow stars so out of fashion? The European Parliament has told the Italians to chill.

II. Each year, Pamplona, Spain, sets out to raise the world's average IQ. This popular Idiot-Culling festival is usually quite effective. This year alone,

A pack of fighting bulls gored a Spaniard, knocked an American unconscious and injured five other people Thursday in a dash through the streets of Pamplona to the city bullring, officials said.

Sadly, the bulls are killed at the end of each day. It's an "ancient tradition"; hence worth preserving. You know, like the Spanish Inquisition.

III. Just when you thought Sarkozy's presidency couldn't get worse, his wife, Carla, has a new pop album out. In it she sings:

"Still a child, despite my 40 years, despite my 30 lovers."

The 30 include Eric Clapton, Mick Jagger, Donald Trump, Laurent Fabius (a former French Prime minister), and perhaps even her husband Sarko. Curiously missing from the list is President Ahmadinejad. This has made Iran watchers around the world ponder the true meaning of Sarkozy's latest remark: "All options are on the table." Which options? Which table?

— Bernard Chazelle

Posted at July 11, 2008 02:06 PM

Fingerprint Gypsies because, as almost every European can tell you, they are famous as pickpockets.
They got that pickpocketing born right in them.

Off to the Three Stooges festival at the Thalia. Always mind-clearing.

Posted by: donescobar at July 11, 2008 03:07 PM

Bernard, if it hadn't been abundantly clear already, I would be sure now that you aren't a liberal. If you were, you'd be blaming America first.

Posted by: ethan at July 11, 2008 04:44 PM

Just looked at the website Jonathan refers to. They're selling "Jewish star patches worn in German Ghettos" for the special price of $128, or the best offer on ebay.
Revolting, but not unexpected: "There's no business like Shoah business" in our captalist nation of salesmen.
Ever read "The Magic Christian" by Terry Southern? Brilliant little book.

Posted by: donescobar at July 11, 2008 06:36 PM

I will still take Carla over Madonna right now.

Posted by: En Ming Hee at July 11, 2008 07:04 PM

On the kitchen table.

Posted by: Mike at July 12, 2008 04:10 AM

Here's hoping Carla has a STD.

Posted by: Susan - NC at July 12, 2008 10:25 AM