You may only read this site if you've purchased Our Kampf from Amazon or Powell's or me
• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show

"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket

"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming

January 25, 2008

Life In Hitler's Bunker: Even Worse Than You Knew

"...constipation and colossal flatulence occurred on a scale I have seldom encountered before."

Perhaps this is old to internet sophisticates, but it's new to me.

—Jonathan Schwarz

Posted at January 25, 2008 09:20 AM

Constipation and colossal flatulence should not be new to anyone exposed to the MSM "news" industry.

Posted by: cavjam at January 25, 2008 10:36 AM

I wonder if Prescott Bush told Hitler any fart jokes.

Posted by: Mike Meyer at January 25, 2008 11:16 AM

Wait, I thought he went vegan because he was a cryptoliberal.

Posted by: buermann at January 25, 2008 02:31 PM

Your point 2 is exactly true. Iraq said repeatedly, repeatedly, repeatedly, that it had no chemical, biological, or nuclear weapons. Publicly. Those statements were even reported. And then after the war started, and no weapons were found, the conservative liars started saying that Hussein had been bluffing that he had them, and this meme went quite far into the popular consciousness - after all, why would the U.S. have invaded if this weren't the case? The meme slots nicely into several other ideas, because it explains a lot of things - why the U.S. insisted he did have them, why the invasion happened, etc. The meme is completely false, however. There's zero evidence on the record that Hussein bluffed at all about NBC weapons. The only statements I've ever seen which could possibly be interpreted that way are interviews with Hussein where he gets asked things like "Will you swear on your mother's grave never to even consider getting NBC weapons?" and he demurs or fails to answer, in typical political fashion.

Posted by: Anon at January 25, 2008 03:02 PM

constipation and colossal flatulence occurred on a scale I have seldom encountered before

Welcome to my world.

Posted by: Anon at January 25, 2008 08:41 PM

Man, Hitler and I had so much in common!

Posted by: ethan at January 25, 2008 11:51 PM

In other words, it's entirely possible that Germany, with the most devastatingly effective war machine in the world, would have won WWII had it not been for a quack.

Once again, the West — and, in particular, the US — gets astoundingly lucky but misattributes its success to competence. One can only keep that up for so long before the luck runs out.

Posted by: Mike at January 26, 2008 04:45 AM

"He who lives upon Hope, dies farting."
--Benjamin Franklin, "Poor Richard's Almanac"

Posted by: Kip W at January 26, 2008 06:48 PM

As Tom Lehrer would tell the tale, two competing merchants met fortuitously at the Moscow train station in pre-Revolutionary days. "Where are you going?" "To Minsk." "Aha - you say you are going to Minsk because you want me to think you are going to Pinsk. But I happen to know already that you ARE going to Minsk - you liar!"

And Saddam said he didn't have WMDs.

Posted by: mistah charley, ph.d. at January 26, 2008 07:09 PM