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October 14, 2007

Suddenly I Feel Much More Warmly Toward Hillary Clinton

I didn't know this about the Democrats:

Although they are Druids, liberals masquerade as rationalists...

Because of liberals’ druidical religious beliefs, they won’t allow us to save Africans dying in droves of malaria with DDT...

At the beginning of the 2004 presidential campaign, the Democratic Leadership Council held briefings to teach Democratic candidates how to simulate a belief in God. To ease the Druids into it, the DLC recommended using phrases like “God’s green earth"...

Democrats revile religion but insist on faking a belief in God in front of the voters claiming to be “spiritual.” They can’t forthrightly admit they are Druids...

That's from the first chapter of Ann Coulter's book Godless. I had no idea there was so much money to be made from anti-Druid sentiment in today's America.

In any case, if the Democrats are really about chanting in the woods at night and worshiping trees, sign me up. I thought being a Democrat felt more like being trapped in a stuffy conference room in a Holiday Inn near the airport as Rahm Emmanuel ranted at you for three hours about the importance of CAFTA.

(Coulter via)

Posted at October 14, 2007 07:42 PM | TrackBack

tree hugger, to tree worshipper, to -- well, i think we all know where their tiny sex-mad brains will take them next -- except i already saw a guy demanding to marry a tree at a gay rights demonstration, and i'm pretty sure he was on coulter's side of the fence

really it was more of a bush -- underage, and incompetent -- blimey!

Posted by: hapa at October 15, 2007 01:21 AM

"I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem may have been that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf!"

Posted by: RobW at October 15, 2007 01:21 AM

Isn't it fair to say that Ms. Coulter is one of the most successful delusional sociopathic hypocrites operating in the world today?

Posted by: MFB at October 15, 2007 02:25 AM

And here I thought the Druids died out a couple thousand years ago without leaving any records whatsoever. That Coulter sure is a hell of an investigator, yeah.

I wonder if the Druid-Democrat cabal drink baby's blood before discussing their plans for world domination via an international banking conspiracy....

Posted by: Svlad Jelly at October 15, 2007 05:47 AM

Hey, if you don't think the folks who built Stonehenge could give us a kick-ass levy system around New Orleans, well, you're just letting anti-Druid bias cloud your reasoning.

Posted by: SteveB at October 15, 2007 10:16 AM

Wait - DRUIDS? Really? Druids? The Democratic Party is run by a secret cabal of Druids? That ... is so COOL! I mean, it's nothing like the secret cabal of Satanists running the Republican Party, but Druids are much more fun to hang with than Satanists.

I mean, I only know a couple of druids and they do, in fact, vote Democratic (though they're registerd as Independent), but that's mainly because the theocratic base of the party is scary and because, well, they're druids - they want to vote for people who respect the environment. I didn't know that they were part of a secret cabal - I'm going to ask them why if they're so powerful they let the Dems make John Kerry the nominee. They were pulling for Howard Dean, IIRC, but maybe that was just a feint to throw me off track...

(Druids, sheesh. It's like she was purposefully looking for the smallest, most inoffensive religion in the US to go after. What's next - is she going to be attacking Buddhists?)

Posted by: NonyNony at October 15, 2007 10:34 AM

Getafix for president!

Posted by: Non Nato at October 15, 2007 10:39 AM

Damn, I assumed you were quoting some kooky blog commenter. How does Coulter get published?

Posted by: KCinDC at October 15, 2007 11:14 AM

Think you should rename your blog "Tiny Druids." Or perhaps "Tiny Brains."

Posted by: catherine at October 15, 2007 12:08 PM

Sadly, we've had to substitute performance for blood sacrifice. But it turns out most people would rather die than speak in public, so that's all right.

Posted by: hf at October 15, 2007 12:41 PM

Yeah, yeah, making fun of people is real easy eh? It's not Ms. Coulter's fault you don't understand her argument. If you did you'd have a brain, and if you had a brain you'd be Conservative. Here let me explain:

Democrats are anti-religion and irrational, but they fake a belief in God by taking his name in vain because they want to apppear religious and rational at the same time, but in reality they don't believe in God, which is why they are not spiritual, because spiritual people don't care, about the environment, which rational people, whose belief in God is not faked, know only druids would care about because they are godless and unspiritual and irrational which is the definition of being non-conservative, which again is the definition of "liberal" which can only be defined negatively in terms of what it is not because Evil as we all know is absence of Conservative.

Gee guys, it's first day in Sunday School stuff. But I guess liberals don't go to school.

Posted by: MacDonald at October 15, 2007 01:07 PM

macd: ditto

Posted by: hapa at October 15, 2007 01:15 PM

Can we just call the wall along the Mexican border Texhenge?

Posted by: Bob In Pacifica at October 15, 2007 01:16 PM

"God's Green Earth" -- nice phrase. Coulter is like a guide to anything halfway decent the Dems have ever done.

She is right, of course, many the Dems are latching on to religious lingo because they have belatedly realized that the Reps have been using it effectively. It's totally sincere when coming from Reps of course.

Posted by: sam at October 15, 2007 02:08 PM

yeh the snow queen's suing for copyright infringement in the court of public opinion - don't want to dilute that brand of political faith

Posted by: hapa at October 15, 2007 02:29 PM

THIS CLOSE TO HALLOWEEN is the wrong time to piss off the Druids. ( ANN, look for a trick and NOT a treat)I know this because my name is

Posted by: Mike Meyer at October 15, 2007 04:22 PM

Hillary's a Druid? Funny, she doesn't look Druish.

Posted by: Doctorb Science at October 15, 2007 05:43 PM

I don't know that much about past Druidism, but in todays fast paced world, if I were a Druid and ANYONE associated me with The Democratic Party, I'd be PISSED and Ms./ Mr.? Coulter would be hearing from my Attorney in the morning.

Posted by: Mike Meyer at October 15, 2007 07:30 PM
Getafix for president!

Really, how many Uderzo and Goscinni fans can be out there in ATR-land?

It's beyond belief that Coulter could say something like this with a straight face. It HAS to be performance art.

Posted by: Ted at October 15, 2007 07:56 PM

@ getafix: i guess the democrats can finally cast off that stupid donkey and adopt the golden sickle symbol!

Posted by: almostinfamous at October 15, 2007 10:29 PM

When I was in college back in the 70's, we used to drive away Bible-thumpers who asked if we knew Jesus with the declaration: "I am a druid and have been blessed in the blood of a tree." I guess it's still used to drive away shrewish right-wing harpies to this day.

Posted by: cosmogenium at October 16, 2007 06:14 PM

Hey, you Democrats - go on LIE about God, just get elected.

If people know you are lying about stuff, well, experience shows that won't stop anyone from voting for you.

In fact, the second time you are up for election, you are likely to get even more votes than the first time, right?

Posted by: Ignatius at October 17, 2007 10:50 AM