You may only read this site if you've purchased Our Kampf from Amazon or Powell's or me
• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show

"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket

"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming

April 21, 2007

Seung-Hui Cho Reveals WMD Found In Iraq!!!

The article by Melanie Phillips mentioned below is based upon the claims of a "civilian federal agent" named Dave Gaubatz. Gaubatz turns out to be "Director of Intelligence and Counter-terrorism Studies" of a group called the "Society for National Existence," or SANE.

Below is a little sample of SANE's website. As you read it, keep in mind that Gaubatz's "theories" on Iraqi WMD have been promoted by Powerline, Glenn Reynolds, Pajamas Media, and Michelle Malkin's website. (Malkin's site says Gaubatz "seems credible.")

Over to you, "SANE":

National Existence is political order experienced by men of the nation as a Rise to Being. Its opposite is a replacement of political order experienced by men, women, children and slaves as a Fall from Being. This Redirection in the experience of the Terms of Being (Self, Society, G-d and World) results in the collapse of Self into Society and all into World. The goal, wittingly or otherwise: a World State.

SANE opposes this Redirection and its manifestations: chants of Racism, Democracy, Equal Rights, Human Rights, Women's Rights, Animal Rights, and the always growing list of what is the Single Concept: Certainty/Uncertainty = Science/Open Society = World. To understand this reciprocal and how it affects a convergence of factors bent on the destruction of National Existence is to be SANE.

SANE is the first step back into the Present. And it is this step "back" to National Existence that will secure the present and protect the future.

Turn in next week when this long, rambling manifesto is mailed to NBC after a spree killing.

Posted at April 21, 2007 03:51 PM | TrackBack

The headline has hit lows in taste i have yet to probe...

this is disappointing, Jon.

Posted by: En Ming Hee at April 21, 2007 04:23 PM

While the headline by no means represents the lowest in taste I have ever probed (whatever that means); its easy to see it is going to touch sensitivities and become the focus of comments.

Maybe you should quickly erase the headline while no one is looking...sort of like a week-end news dump. Otherwise it will detract from the funniness of the story. And it is a funny story.

(I don't mean here to make light of other's sensitivities. I just avoid taking offense where none was intended.)

Posted by: New Day at April 21, 2007 05:28 PM

>> "Society for National Existence," or SANE.

How do you get SANE from "society for national existence" ?

You don't!

It's actually Society of Americans for National Existence!

Hate to break the news to you Jon, but you're a long way from mastering the reciprocal of the convergent redirection from the rise to being into the collapse of self back to the present.


Posted by: Bernard Chazelle at April 21, 2007 05:31 PM

I am writing a new book called “I Found Flying Saucers in Saddam’s Garage” and the vast conspiracy of blue, green and gray space aliens who abducted Elvis Presley and pickled his body in a large mason jar. In my book I will reveal the growing threat of the Loch Ness monster who threatens the safety of the entire universe in all its lurid detail. Also you will find an account of how leprechauns are controlling the foreign policy of our government via hypnotism and ESP.

Posted by: rob payne at April 21, 2007 05:58 PM

You can always tell someone is a fucking cockhead when they're chanting about human rights. Human beings suck! No SANE being is in favor of rights for them.

Posted by: saurabh at April 21, 2007 07:30 PM

i like SANE's style - they've taken the best of Ku Klux Klanism and Movement Conservatism and smoothed them together into a delicious new concoction. it's what i imagine nietzsche would have believed had he really been a national socialist and had he had large chunks of his brain removed. bravo!

Posted by: Guest at April 21, 2007 09:04 PM

She should have quoted Dr. Bronner.

Posted by: hedgehog at April 22, 2007 12:46 AM

Wow, I didn't realize so many conservatives were Scientologists!

Posted by: Batocchio at April 22, 2007 05:31 AM

Jonathan, you always find the absolute best wingnuts. This time you've set the bar so high that I don't think it can be topped. The elan of this guy is inspiring, in that fortify your house and stock up the arsenal way. I think he should be the op ed page editor for the Washington Post -- they need him there -- and with his mapping skills, I think he could easily qualify for gig at, say, the American Enterprise Institute.

Posted by: Scruggs at April 22, 2007 08:08 AM

Rob Payne -

It's not a mason jar. It's a Mason jar. There's the Masonic connection! Didn't you just know it?

Posted by: Aaron Datesman at April 22, 2007 08:58 AM

Is no one seeing the fault of associating Cho Seong Hui, a hard-luck immigrant who felt the American Dream die on him and made his cause the outlet of his pent-up anger and frustration a world he could not understand, with these wingnuts, who are otherwise comfortably middle-class people who sit idly and rally behind causes because of their vanity and sloth?

Sorry, but as an Asian here I wish to make it clear that the racism, ostracism and frustration that shaped Cho are the very things that SANE runs on. Cho wouldn't care shit about WMD in Iraq anyway, because the same establishment that talks about the WMD in Iraq is the same one that is promoting the racial insensitivity that made his life miserable, the same establishment that caused his family to work as hard as they did for the life they wanted, and the same establishment that prostitutes itself to gun lobbies so that he can attain the firearms he needed to take revenge that easily.

This is a level of racial and cultural insensitivity I have yet to behold on a site like this. I suppose everyone has blind spots, but please now that I have brought it up, turn an eye on them.

Posted by: En Ming Hee at April 22, 2007 12:53 PM

I think Cho's actions were driven almost entirely by his mental illness. Frustrated by the American dream --yeah. Most people don't respond by gunning down 31 innocents, including an heroic Holocaust survivor. Unable to understand the world. Yeah, because of his mental illness.

Many acts of suicide terrorism are the acts of sane people who have wrongly concluded that this is a legitimate response to their (often very real) grievances. Members of their culture may split on whether they approve or disapprove of the method, but even those who disapprove often say they understand the rage that drove the act. That's not the case here. Cho was mentally ill. He needed psychiatric help.

Posted by: Donald Johnson at April 22, 2007 02:32 PM

Those are all fair points, En Ming Hee. I hadn't seen the title of this post in the light of them.

Jonathan, a more apt comparison to Gaubatz would be the Unabomber, whose screed was every bit as nutty. Even then, he is somewhat more sympathetic, being genuinely driven 'round the bend, whereas Gaubatz and his ilk only suffer from a sense of entitlement.

Posted by: Scruggs at April 22, 2007 02:51 PM


Thanks for the correction, yes I completely forgot about the Masonic plot to destroy all pumpkins before next Halloween. Between the Masons and the Rotary clubs we don’t stand a chance!

Posted by: rob payne at April 22, 2007 07:49 PM

OK, amidst all the craziness of the excerpt, this is a small thing, but: tell me they don't really refer to the men of the nation "experiencing" one big collective "Rise to Being," which women, children and slaves inherently can't experience.

Holy national hard-on -- you don't need Sigmund Freud to analyze that. I got'cher growing "Single Concept" right heah, buddy!

Posted by: Whistler Blue at April 23, 2007 02:13 PM

The problem with En Ming Hee's assertions about Cho's acts stemming from racial discrimination is that most people of Asian background don't commit mass murder. Most people who have committed mass murder, in the US anyway, are white.

Cho was a mentally ill individual.

Posted by: C at April 23, 2007 06:52 PM

The problem with En Ming Hee's assertions about Cho's acts stemming from racial discrimination is that most people of Asian background don't commit mass murder. Most people who have committed mass murder, in the US anyway, were white.

Cho was a mentally ill individual.

Posted by: C at April 23, 2007 06:52 PM