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April 11, 2007

John McCain Being Held Back By Wussy U.S. Generals

Wow, I'd missed this:

Republican presidential hopeful Sen. John McCain said he would have taken his tour of an Iraqi market last week even if he had not been accompanied by heavily armed U.S. soldiers.

McCain said he would have walked through a central Baghdad market without the military protection, but the top U.S. commander in Iraq, Gen. David Petraeus, had recommended the armed escort.

"I'm not notorious for being nervous about going anywhere," said McCain. "I'll gladly go almost anywhere in the world, under any circumstances, but I did respond and do what Gen. Petraeus asked me to do."

Other things John McCain wanted to do, but that wuss General Petraeus stopped him from trying:

1. Defeat entire Iraq insurgency, armed only with a bolo knife

2. Walk naked through Baghdad, wearing Arabic sign reading, "Dear kidnappers: My family is incredibly wealthy and loves to pay ransoms"

3. Die and be reincarnated as an Iraqi


McCain said he talked to many Iraqis in the market who told him that, while they still worried about a sniper operating there, they felt as though things were getting better.

I'm pleased to see McCain understands human nature so well. If there's one thing we know about people, it's that if you ask them questions when you're surrounded by 100 heavily armed men with Apache gunships hovering overhead, they will always tell you the unvarnished truth.

Posted at April 11, 2007 11:16 PM | TrackBack

The market's still there -- although it got shelled after his last visit -- he could always do another tour. Nothing stopping him.

Posted by: darrelplant at April 12, 2007 12:04 AM

However, as those with functioning memories should recall, in the bad old days of Saddam the presence of a single government minder was enough to make any and all replies obviously suspect...

Posted by: Dunc at April 12, 2007 06:52 AM

"Yes, yes, we love Americans. God bless America! God bless Abu Center. I hear it is just like Promises in Malibu, only difference being that they don't generously allow pets at Promises like our dear friends and benefactors the Americans do. Please, take these rugs that my family spent thousands of hours weaving. Just one dollar each."

I think what McCain just discovered is that we have "turned the corner" in Iraq.

John McCain: him so macho.

Posted by: DBK at April 12, 2007 10:01 AM

The Rocky Mountain News says that the next day 21 of McCain's props were kidnapped and murdered.

John McCain kills again.

Posted by: Scott at April 14, 2007 05:00 AM