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August 31, 2006

The Terrorists Of Tola-Tera-Tera-To-Totalitarians

I traditionally don't like to say George Bush sounds like a moron, because I figure the six billion other people on earth have that one covered. But I have to break with tradition for a moment and say: Jeebus Cripes, Bush sounds like a moron.

For instance, here, at 14:33. This is exactly what he said:

History shows what the outcome will be. This war will be difficult, this war will be long, and this war will end in the defeat of the terrorists of tola-tera-tera-to-totalitarians.

Or as the song goes:

The terrorists of tola-tera-tera-to-totalitarians
The terrorists of tola-tera-tera-to-totalitarians
They sneak into my room at night
With their stala-stoli-stoli-sta-stalinism
And their fascip-fip-fip-fo-fascism
And they kill my libert-larra-la-la-liberty

Oh, you terrorists of tola-tera-tera-to-totalitarians
Stay away from me
Stay away from me

Posted at August 31, 2006 02:47 PM | TrackBack

Truth be told, that particular stumble isn't that egregious - totalitarianism is a tricky word to say, and in a long speech it ain't that surprising there's a few blips. Most days I'm lucky if I can say a full sentence without swallowing my own tongue.

I think it's more problematic that he's resurrecting that whole "totalitarianism" trope.

Posted by: saurabh at August 31, 2006 03:33 PM

Sorry, saurabh, but thanks for playing our game... "totalitarianism" is NOT a hard word to say, if you're supposed to be the frickin' leader of the free frickin' world. The sad fact is, Bush really IS as much (or more?) of a moron as we have feared all along. And this, from a man who's only a heartbeat away from the Presidency! I'm SHOCKED!

Posted by: One Monkey's Uncle at August 31, 2006 04:29 PM

None of that matters. What matters is that this post made coffee shoot out of my nose. In these times of trouble, I live for that.

Monkey's Uncle,
Moron? Come on. The man has read three (3) Shakespeares.

I waver between wanting to marry you, Chris Floyd, and the dog that won't quit laughing. Today, it is you.

Posted by: Realrealgone at August 31, 2006 05:55 PM

I actually don't think that Bush is a moron so much as remarkably badly spoken + very good at playing a moron such that it mostly helps him. I think most of his gaffes are very complex freudian slips.

What's weird, of course, is that the terrorists are, almost by definition, not fighting on behalf of any totalitarians. If they were they'd be state sponsored, and the vast majority of them are not--and that's an important distinction for Shrubby and Albberto, b/c that's how we motivate dropping the Geneva conventions.

Is anyone else reminded of that song "Banana banna bo belly fee fi fo felli Saheli!"?

Posted by: Saheli at August 31, 2006 06:08 PM

That was wonderful! If I'd read this earlier today, my nose would have been spouting coffee, too. I want to see an ad that combines John Aravosis' picture of the empty desk in the oval office with the caption "Where Were You On September 11?" and these lyrics.

Posted by: Aunt Deb at August 31, 2006 06:12 PM

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
- - Groucho Marx

Winners and losers that about sums up American mentality and it is the game that conservatives love to play. I notice the word loser is used often in connection with liberals by Bush supporters which reveal this mentality. It is also the reason for aberrant behavior by people who find they are wrong about something. It causes them to go to great lengths to justify why they, in truth, are really not wrong. On the face of it this is rather silly because no one is right all the time but it stems from this winner and loser conditioning that we are all subject to from the day we are born.

Unfortunately Bush has been wrong about just about everything so for the next few years we shall be inundated with his aberrant mumbo jumbo concerning why he was actually correct even though he was completely wrong. His arguments will get more ridiculous as time goes by or as they have been.

Posted by: rob payne at August 31, 2006 06:26 PM

Yes, he is without a doubt moderately to severely brain-damaged. My favorite recent Bushism is from yesterday, in Tennessee:

“We face an enemy that has an ideology,’’ Mr. Bush continued. “They believe things. The best way to describe their ideology is to relate to you the fact that they think the opposite of the way we think.”

Now that is some seriously simple-minded shit right there.

Posted by: Guest at August 31, 2006 07:27 PM

I also like the line: "History shows what the outcome will be." Because everythign has happened before and lo, it shall happen again, only this time with nuke tippe dbunker busters.

Posted by: Keith at August 31, 2006 08:01 PM

Modifying a current canard, I would suggest that history actually shows that Republicans learn nothing from history.

This is why they keep making the same mistakes over and over and over, and rationalizing them the same dreary ways. It doesn't bother them to be wrong over and over and over again, because they don't remember, don't care, and don't "do" history or reality.

Posted by: passerby at August 31, 2006 08:26 PM

Moronic methodology or practice makes perfect?

As Bush policy slides into the abyss of no return we see the mentality behind the morons in this article from SFgate.

Pentagon moves toward monitoring media

The U.S. command in Baghdad is seeking bidders for a two-year, $20 million public relations contract that calls for monitoring the tone of Iraq news stories filed by U.S. and foreign media.

Proposals, due Sept. 6, ask companies to show how they'll "provide continuous monitoring and near-real time reporting of Iraqi, pan-Arabic, international, and U.S. media," according to the solicitation issued last week.

Contractors also will be evaluated on how they will provide analytical reports and customized briefings to the military, "including, but not limited to tone (positive, neutral, negative) and scope of media coverage."

Dare I imply that this reveals the mentality behind Bush philosophy? Since reality does not live up to Bush expectations clearly reality must be altered for the teeming masses just like it is manipulated for us folks here in the States. And notice the nifty little sum of 20 million smackaroos for those few that benefit from war.

Speaking of morons Rush Limbaugh provides Tom Tomorrow with interesting fodder for some good commentary on what passes for thinking among the conservative segment.

The drug-addled host.

We didn't teach 'em to fish - we gave 'em the fish! We didn't teach 'em how to butcher - how to slaughter a cow for the butter! Says Rush Limbaugh.

It's an extraordinary example of what passes for thought on the right. Says Tom Tommorow.

Posted by: rob payne at August 31, 2006 08:54 PM

What song is this a parody of?

Posted by: Clueless Doofus at August 31, 2006 09:22 PM

Bush was under the influence today. Possibly alcohol, but not alcohol alone. Struggling at times to keep his sibilances un-slurred, his words also had a way of starting to go down the wrong track as if they were on auto-pilot. Thus the tola-tera-tera-to-totalitarians. But alcohol alone typically doesn't do that kind of thing until there's also difficulty with overall motor control. Maybe it's Halcion and alcohol.

This isn't a figment of my imagination. If you put this track on a spectograph and compare it with one of his speech samples circa 2004 (the Abu Ghraid SOTU speech), you'll see his utterances are graphically degraded, rounded off and also at lower signal-to-noise strength. He's on medication.

Posted by: MarcLord at August 31, 2006 10:09 PM

"We face an enemy that has an ideology; they believe things."

Reminds me of the bit (sorry can't remember the comedian's name) about how the best parts of Bush's speeches are when he explains things that don't need to be explained, and you know it's because that's how they were explained to him.

"Al Qaeda have an ideology, Mr President."

"What's an ideology?"

"They believe things."

Posted by: RobW at September 1, 2006 02:29 AM

the vast right wing conspiracy or just copycat scaremogering? i fear that we will not survive long enough to know.

Posted by: almostinfamous at September 1, 2006 08:25 AM

It bothers me more that he still cannot pronounce "nuclear" than his inability to pronounce "totalitarianism" (which has 8 syllables!). Can't someone please tell him it's nu-clear? Not nu-cu-ler.

He's really quickening the drumbeat, hyping up for the midterm elections.

Knowing how unpopular his War in Iraq is, he is actually saying that if we don't fight in the streets of Baghdad, we'll fight the terrorists in the streets of our cities. WTF?!? Does anyone really believe anything he says anymore?

Then he goes on to say the enemy (mostly) of his invention -- the Islamofascists -- are the successors of the fascists, the nazis, and the communists. (1) Does he even know the difference between any of them? and (2) Is he trying to make me explode from cynicism?

I, too, enjoyed his report that he's read three Shakespeares. What's a Shakespeare?

Posted by: blondie at September 1, 2006 09:21 AM

Having experienced Bush locally, as when he put Texas right next to Mississippi in all things deemed to be important to a slightly civilized society, and now experiencing him nationally with my glazed over eyeballs, I can tell you that Bush. is. a. world. class. illiterate. MORON. As for that Jonathan fellow, he is a passable songster manqué.

Posted by: Jesus B. Ochoa at September 1, 2006 11:21 AM

J -- thanks so much for this blog. Every day you give me something to laugh at. This post is hilarious.

Posted by: Colin Whitworth at September 1, 2006 11:43 AM

it's difficult to say alright. especially if you have no clue what it means.

Posted by: chris from boca at September 1, 2006 01:26 PM
Reminds me of the bit (sorry can't remember the comedian's name) about how the best parts of Bush's speeches are when he explains things that don't need to be explained, and you know it's because that's how they were explained to him.
That sounds like Rory Bremner. Posted by: Gag Halfrunt at September 1, 2006 04:03 PM

I am not sure what song is being parodied here; but perhaps the Star Spangled Banner.

Posted by: Realrealgone at September 1, 2006 08:07 PM

That sounds like Rory Bremner.

After trawling through the singularly unhelpful alumni page at Montreal Just For Laughs 2005, I'm pretty sure it was Kathleen Madigan.

Posted by: RobW at September 2, 2006 01:01 AM