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August 24, 2006

We Learned Our Political Rhetoric From The Master Himself

Brig. Gen. Michael Barbero at the Pentagon yesterday:

There is a problem with foreign influences...Iran is definitely a destabilizing force in Iraq. I think it's irrefutable that Iran is responsible for training, funding and equipping some of these Shi'a extremist groups...[I've] seen reports of their involvement and presence there as trainers and to train these terrorists and Shi'a extremist groups...

Joe Lieberman interviewed by Glenn Beck on Tuesday:

BECK: I've been saying this before we even went into Iraq, that we're trying to change the face of the Middle East...We were trying to go and pop the head of the snake in Iran. That's what we were trying to do...

JOE LIEBERMAN: Well, you're right.

Huh. This rhetoric about the terrorist Iranian snakes sounds familiar. Where have I heard it before? Oh, yeah:

The plot in which the Iranian regime was used against our land, life and future was the most serious and the largest plot...They encircled it with an atmosphere charged with fears and perils...They sought to intimidate us and subjugate us to the extortion of the Tehran rulers...

Its plan...relies on terrorism.

The fine empty words spoken by the Khomeyniite snakes will not change the Iranian regime's racist, expansionist and terrorist nature.

-- Saddam Hussein
July 16, 1985

(via the BBC Worldwide Monitoring Service)

I hope all the people beating the war drums on Iran will consider getting Saddam to moonlight as a speechwriter for them. He probably has some spare time.

Posted at August 24, 2006 12:05 PM | TrackBack

Of course, you're assuming that Saddam hasn't been writing speeches for them the whole time, perhaps as part of a plea bargain.

Posted by: Adam Kotsko at August 24, 2006 01:03 PM

...or maybe they were writing speeches for Saddam? Who knows...

Posted by: abb1 at August 24, 2006 01:13 PM

I think it is more like parallel evolution, you know, the reason that dolphins look like fish even though they are mammals is because they do the same thing, swim in water. Guys like Lieberman, Bush and the good general Barbarian, er, I mean Barbero all do the same thing so they sound the same.

Posted by: rob payne at August 24, 2006 01:39 PM

They're diping into the same pocket.

Posted by: Mike Meyer at August 24, 2006 06:57 PM

saddam's speech, 2006 version:

Posted by: almostinfamous at August 24, 2006 09:43 PM

Joe may be towing the Bushanista's line, but rememeber that there is a big difference between these new Iranian snakes and those nasty Khomeyniite snakes of Saddam's era because these new snakes are nasty Shi-ites and the old ones were....Hey! Wait a minute! I get it, Joe! Well, in that case, 'pop' with their heads before they start taking hostages!!!

Posted by: JLaR at August 24, 2006 11:43 PM

It would be morally reprehensible for the US to abandon Iraq when sectarian tensions are at a flashpoint. The US created the situation in Iraq and now we need to have the fortitude to stay until the situation can be stabilized. We all already know that the invasion of Iraq was a mistake. There is no point to beating a dead horse. I'm sure that you all are tickled pink to have all this fodder for your propaganda machine, but it's obvious that you aren't doing this out of concern for the Middle East. You're doing it because you hate Republicans. The problem is that there are people who's lives you have disregarded and those are the US soldiers who have no choice but to be there. These type of blogs aren't helping the situation. You people are helping to inflame the situation and put our military personnel in greater danger. Those who would kill you rather than look at you use blogs like this to drum up support. They don't care if you are a Republican or a Democrat. They don't see the two parties as being any different. That is actually not far from the truth either. The two parties have different rationales for what they do, but they still operate under the same corporate-friendly policies. I'm not saying that you shouldn't stand up for what you believe in, but you do need to keep it toned down a little.

If you don't believe me, read some Iraqi blogs and find out. They hate us.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled back-biting.

Posted by: Bumpy Johnson at August 25, 2006 02:27 AM

So, Bumpy, do you think we need to pop the head of the snake in Iran or not? Not clear from your comment.

Posted by: abb1 at August 25, 2006 03:13 AM

Say, Bumpy!

Do they hate us for our freedom or maybe because Fearless Leader ordered an illegal, immoral and insane occupational crusade in a country that had nothing to do with terrorist attacks on US soil, as well lying to everybody in the world about those weapons of mass destruction that were never found because they never existed?

Please enlighten our curious minds with more of your words of wisdom even though they actually reek of Neocon propaganda!

Posted by: JLaR at August 25, 2006 04:20 AM

I am reminded of the time when George Bush, a hated and despised republican, once said he never looks behind because he is always moving ahead or something close to that.

And indeed one cannot blame Bush for not wanting to look behind because if I had created the amount of death and destruction that Bush had I probably would not want to look at it either. But then again on the other hand looking behind can be as important as looking ahead in fact both are quite admirable traits. Looking ahead allows one not to walk into walls and looking behind allows one to see how walking into walls is not wise. I believe they call this learning from past mistakes.

And of course since George Bush and his neocon global gallopers forge ahead with nary a regret we are headed for another even bigger disaster when we invade Iran because we cannot allow them to be in control of our all consuming drug addiction of oil abuse. Not looking back of course will allow us to once again, to walk into a wall albeit a much bigger and harder wall.

When I first learned to talk as a young child, when the world was in the springtime of its youth, the first words I uttered was my deep and abiding concern for the Mid East and everything that transpired there but of course even then I knew this really had nothing to do with oil it was really the sight of old glory a wavin' in the wind which never failed to cause a tear to trickle down my cheek.

When I was being put on trial for first degree murder I told the judge that it was no use beating a dead horse because we all knew I was guilty and the important thing was that we look ahead. The judge broke down in a most pitiful manner and he and the entire jury wept bitterly at the cruelty of fate. With tears streaming down his face the judge bade me to go forth into the world to pursue the calling of the righteous so I went out and killed ten more people.

Posted by: rob payne at August 25, 2006 04:38 AM


It's good to see that your righteous aim is improving! We're all tickled pink out here in 'Commieland' to know that you're willing to take some of the responsibility for all that innocent blood spilled from the hundreds of thousands of victims of Bushanista war crimes, even though Fearless Leader himself refuses to own up and admit it. Besides that, if all of the troops were to return immediately, this insanity and bloodshed would stop just as immediately because without occupation, there would be no alleged 'civil war'.

Whoops! Sorry about that! I forgot myself for a minute. I just criticized the official Neocon policy and, therefore, am aiding and abetting the 'terrorists' by exposing Fearless Leader and his minnions as the war-profiteering murderous cowards that they actually are! Forgive me, please!

"Squawk! Squawk! Terror Bad! Squawk! Squawk! Occupation Good! Squawk! Squawk! Terror Bad! Squawk! Squawk!" Ad infinitum....

Posted by: JLaR at August 25, 2006 05:13 AM


Don't be too hard on the poor fellow he only repeats what he hears. I just finished making my first paradoxing plasma transducer which will allow me to visit the old ones who filtered down from the stars to do battle with with Chuthulhu who lays sleeping in his watery grave until the day the stars are properly aligned and the great one will reclaim what is his.

Posted by: rob payne at August 25, 2006 05:27 AM

Does that mean you were only joking about those ten people? Say it ain't so, Rob! Say it ain't so!!!

Posted by: JLaR at August 25, 2006 05:32 AM

Hello from Trebekistan!

My esteemed colleague Professor Bob Harris likes to compare himself and his new work The Prisoner of Trebekistan to such authors as Albert Camus and Bill Bryson and their books The Stranger and Thunderbolt Kid, respectively, on the basis of's system of co-rating books based on customer purchases.

I can see why he would like to be considered a peer of sorts to writers of the caliber and reputation of Camus and Bryson. However, a recent visit to the website that features Prisoner of Trebekistan shows a more intriguing set of books that purchasers of Professor Harris' tome proceed to buy. Among these seemingly odd choices are Woof: Perspectives into the Erotic Care and Training of the Human Dog, Soaked! The Watersports Handbook for Men, and First Hand: An Erotic Guide to Anal Fisting.

(By the way, the cover photo for Woof is one of the most remarkable things I have seen in my entire life, truly hilarious.)

I was as surprised by these correlations of consumer choices as you may be, but a recent visit to Trebekistan has solved the mystery entirely. The citizens of Trebekistan have many peculiar habits and hobbies that relate to these various books.

For example, man pudu love is not merely permitted, it is encouraged by the state. President Harris leads the peoples of Trebekistan in this example, by proclaiming without shame his desire to be "nuzzled" by these cute little mammals, and his acolytes describes ecstatically their desires to "cuddle" with pudus. However, seeing several of these "nuzzlings" in public, I realized that these "pudus" were actually guys dressed up in pudu costumes. Until President Harris completes his guidebook Bleat:Perspectives into the Erotic Care and Training of the Human Pudu, this fine volume by Daniels will have to suffice for the guidance of the citizenry. The practice of man-pudu love, or "pudurasty" as it is called here, is a striking example of the heterogeny of the sexual practices of mankind.

The next book, Soaked: The Watersports Handbook for Men would seem to be related to the national sport of Trebekistan. In my hotel I watched TV for an evening and was struck by TNTV (Trebekistan National Television) programming. The sole fare was repeated reruns of Jeopardy and instruction in watersports, conducted by President Harris himself. I must say, it would not be my "cup of tea," but watching the President demonstrate new watersports techniques *is* a strangely compelling spectacle.

Finally, the book First Hand: An Erotic Guide to Anal Fisting also seems to fit into the mores and customs of the people of Trebekistan. Trebekistan has a sort of man-diety, once known by the Christan name Alex Trebek, but now simply referred to as The Host. Before the filming of the national game, called Jeopardy, the people assemble in the Cathedral of The Host, where The Host conducts a certain ceremonious invasion of The President. It looks very unpleasant, for the President that is, but apparently President Harris is willing to endure great indignity in oder to procure fame (and to mollify The Host so that he might appear again on a TV game show).

It really is a marvelous place, Trebekistan, and I urge you to visit and see these fascinating people and their idiosynchratic but very charming customs for yourself.

Posted by: Bob Haggis at August 25, 2006 05:42 AM

Jeezuz Haggis Christ! Isn't this site supposed to be commercial-free?

Posted by: JLaR at August 25, 2006 05:50 AM

Okay I lied it is just that I always wanted to be feared.

Posted by: rob payne at August 25, 2006 06:09 AM

Rob, if you really want to be feared you should use the same militaristic jingoism that is so effective for generals in training soldiers and Marines to be wanton, barbaric, soul-less killing machines. Try this one out on your soon-to-be former friends:

"The enemy has a face and that face shows itself unto us in the form of Satan's own snakes! We are God's own dove of peace! Ah, but lo, in order to bring peace unto this world, we must drop sacred bombs from our Holy aircraft, march as true Christian soldiers into their vile nests and stomp these evil Satanic vipers into the sacred dust of the Holy Land! Can I get an A-men while we 'pop' some heads? Hallah-fuckin-loo-yah!!!"

Posted by: JLaR at August 25, 2006 07:19 AM

You people are fooling yourselves. Do you realize that 109 Congressional Democrats voted to use force against Iraq? The Democrats are no more noninterventionist than the Republicans are.

In May of 2003, polls showed that 80% of the nation supported the war in Iraq. I'm sure that none of you were part of that crowd, but I am sure that some of those people had to be Democrats.

Abb1 - I think the Middle East is antagonizing the US to evoke a response in order to make us look like even bigger fools. I think we should deal with Iran in the same way we dealt with the Soviet Union. I'd welcome Ahmadinejad to the nuclear club and inform him of the destruction that Iran faced if any Iranian nuclear material were to be detonated anywhere in the world. Then I'd resume fixing problems the US faces such as the mounting public debt, flagging exports and dwindling supplies of energy.

JLaR - They hate you because you're an idiot constantly meddling in the affairs of others. They hate you because you support Israel. They hate you because you are a rich, pampered baby. They hate you because you support every oppressive, US-friendly regime in the region. They hate you, not because of your freedom, but the immoral way that you use it. And they hate you because 80% of you supported bombing Iraq back to the stone age.

Rob - That was some pretty sanctimonious horsehockey, so I won't bother addressing it, but I am betting that you voted for GWB at least once and now you feel guilty and betrayed, so you waste all of your energies trying to exact revenge in the only way you can think of.

JLaR - "Besides that, if all of the troops were to return immediately, this insanity and bloodshed would stop just as immediately because without occupation, there would be no alleged 'civil war'."

If if if if. Bush has already told you that the troops have at least two more years in Iraq. Impossible hypotheticals are meaningless. You need to return to reality. The civil war is already occuring. Thousands of Iraqis are dying monthly in it. Without the INVASION there would have been no civil war, but the occupation is having a calming effect. Most Iraqis want the US to stay because they know we won't kidnap and behead them. I know you feel bad about starting a war, but you can't take it back now and you need to own it and deal with it. When Bush is out of office the war will end, but until then, the same policies will remain in effect.

The rest of the drivelanche I will ignore because it reminds me too much of the babbling of monkeys, except for this:

JLaR - "generals in training soldiers and Marines"

I can tell that you've never served in the forces which guard our country, because, if you had, you would know that generals don't do the training. You obviously have no idea what it takes to become a good soldier and I can tell that you don't care. You have no respect for those who are willing to put themselves in harm's way to protect you. You strike me as a very low person with no honor and a big yap.

It's sad, but until you people pull your heads out of your asses, it seems the American public is doomed to play the pendulum swinging back and forth from one corporatist party to the other.

Posted by: Bumpy Johnson at August 25, 2006 10:22 AM

Comments on this site used to be a lot better.

Posted by: Adam Kotsko at August 25, 2006 12:49 PM

Bumpy is absolutely right on one point, as long as GEORGE is President, we WILL be in Iraq. (or worse)
JLaR is absolutely right, this WHOLE war is built on a lie, even Bumpy says so, as such is NEVER going to work out well. (COMMONSENSE)The Iraqis have issues that are private and sacred to themselves, and they need to settle them amonst themselves. They need to be free to decide these questions between themselves without outside interfearence, including us, especially us. Then again NO-ONE else also. Aparently they have plenty of weapons, AMERICA could seal the borders and stop all weapons comming or going. Cover Airspace from aerial attack from outside. Assure food and medical supplies are imported in. The Iraqis ARE goint to settle their differences with or without us, and it's going to stay violent until they are done. The ONE AND ONLY thing we've done right in Iraq is capture Saddam and kill his sons. We need to haul Saddam to the Hague for trial, Keep paying to defend Iraq's borders and airspace.

Posted by: Mike Meyer at August 25, 2006 01:24 PM

I just wanted to point out that there is great similarities between what Bush said just before invading Iraq and what Saddam said just before invading Kuwait.

Salam Pax, first Iraqi blogger, pointed that out in 2003.

I don't believe that they believe their own lies.

Posted by: at August 27, 2006 12:03 AM

Saddam and Bush both need to go in front of the Nuremberg court.

Posted by: Susan at August 27, 2006 12:04 AM

Say Bumpy!

I never supported the occupation of Palestine and was raised a poor hillbilly by survivors of the Depression whose father was a lifer, including 4 years as a recruiter after WWII until the Korean Conflict started. If you think that generals and admirals don't make official training policy in the military, then woe unto you because it certainly doesn't come from ANY lower echelons.

You certainly have no experience with anything militarily except to use them as shields to justify your war-mongering attitude, much the same as Daddy's Little War Criminal did showing off in his spiffy flight jacket declaring Mission: Accomplished. He's the idiot who put them illegally, immorally and insanely in harm's way. I want them to come home now safe and sound so there are no more war widows or weeping parents. That's real support, not creating a death trap through lies and deception.

Repetition does not a civil war make and constantly referring to the utter chaos created by BushCo in order to make enormous profits for Halliburton through their less than ethical no-bid contracts. The constant disorder in that region will also make the BushCo oil buddies quite content with insane gas prices in the US for decades. All in the name of God and Country! Methinks you're the one with nasty brown stains on your own oversized uneducated earlobes, not me!

Ah, but what else do you expect besides insults from me? After all, I'm just an illiterate hillbilly whose parents couldn't afford to put through college and had to steal my "ejah-muh-cation" in order to understand our "nuke-yah-lar" world, as our Fearless Leader says!

Posted by: JLaR at August 28, 2006 06:46 AM