You may only read this site if you've purchased Our Kampf from Amazon or Powell's or me
• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show

"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket

"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming

August 15, 2006

Readin' Readin' Readin'

1. Craig Murray, the former UK Ambassador to Uzbekistan fired by the British Foreign Office for criticizing the country's routine torture, says this about latest terror plot:

I have been reading very carefully through all the Sunday newspapers to try and analyse the truth from all the scores of pages claiming to detail the so-called bomb plot. Unlike the great herd of so-called security experts doing the media analysis, I have the advantage of having had the very highest security clearances myself, having done a huge amount of professional intelligence analysis, and having been inside the spin machine.

So this, I believe, is the true story...


2. Dennis Perrin takes his son to the water park:

The boy and I were diving through a chlorinated waterfall running down a faux rock face when I surfaced and saw a Nazi tattoo on a big white arm. I couldn't believe it. Open militarism is one thing, part of Americana, a disease you somewhat get used to; but an actual swastika is a deeper statement. The guy wearing it was large and muscular, looking like a bodyguard or bouncer, his head shaved, his goatee closely trimmed. The swastika was surrounded by two tiny American flags with an eagle atop. I simply froze and stared at it. The guy paid me no mind, but his wife glared back at me as she rushed their little blonde boy along to the water slides.

Check please!...

We moved through the parking lot choked with SUVs, Hummers, and pick-ups, many boasting "Support Our Troops," "These Colors Never Run" and "USA Number 1" bumperstickers. I couldn't wait to get home, lock the door, and drain a stiff drink. But my son strolled along, oblivious to the raw nationalist sentiment on all those gas-guzzling symbols of our collective arrogance and greed, and thanked me for taking him to the park, saying "This is one of the best days ever. I had a blast, Dad!"

This filled me with happiness, love, and fear. Poor kid. Look at the world that awaits him.

The rest.

3. Internet legend Dooce writes hilariously and movingly about post-partum depression, her own and others.

Posted at August 15, 2006 08:00 PM | TrackBack

I was just thinking how sad it is that I instinctively give more credence to a blog post written by somebody I've never heard of (Murray), via a link posted by someone I've never met (Schwarz) than to the official pronouncements of my own government. How fucking depressing is it that a perfectly average, normal citizen like myself has been brought to the point of automatically suspecting everything his or her government says? Can't someone make them stop lying so fucking much? It's sickening.

Posted by: Guest at August 15, 2006 08:21 PM

NO, they'ed even lie to the Pope.

Posted by: Mike Meyer at August 15, 2006 09:08 PM

Yeah, but at least the Pope's infallible - he wouldn't fall for it.

BTW, isn't it "Cheque, please"?

Posted by: floopmeister at August 15, 2006 10:07 PM

Wahh, ha, ha, ha! Ahh, ha, ha!

Oh, boy! That's a good one, floopmeister! "The Pope's infallible!"

That rates right up there with the top Most Often Told Lies such as: "I'll love you forever", "The cheque is in the mail" and "I promise not to cum in yer mouth!"

Posted by: americanintifada at August 16, 2006 06:01 AM

Floop, I believe that Jon's taking a satirical jab at Dennis's satirical jab-- a satirical full-frontal assault that has shattered my irony bone in two or three places. I don't think I can take many more reversals.

Mr. Intifada: this has been a Frank Zappa-free website for years. Please don't start that shit now.

Posted by: Sully at August 16, 2006 03:23 PM


Zappa would have said 'mouf'. Besides, I stole that joke from an old George Carlin routine, not from Frankie. And it's too late anyway, because I already used a Zappism previously. I will stop that immediately. In the words of that great Panamanian philosopher, Roberto Duran: "No mas! No mas!"

Posted by: americanintifada at August 17, 2006 12:36 AM