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July 14, 2006

The Lighter Side Of Widening Slaughter In The Middle East

You know the funniest part about Israel's attacks on Lebanon and the likelihood of a much wider war in the mideast? Of course, it's hard to choose because there's so much funny about it. But I think the top contender clearly is that, before the invasion of Iraq, the people pushing war kept telling us how "the road to Jerusalem runs through Baghdad."

In other words, invading Iraq would show the dirty Arabs—who only understand force—that we and Israel couldn't be pushed around. Then the Palestinians would knuckle under in the West Bank and Gaza and we'd all live happily ever after.

One excellent example from a September, 2002 issue of the New Republic can be found here. As you'd expect, it's written by Martin "I Have Literally Never Been Correct About Anything In My Entire Life" Peretz:

The road to Jerusalem more likely leads through Baghdad than the reverse. Once the Palestinians see that the United States will no longer tolerate their hero Saddam Hussein, depressed though they may be, they may also come finally to grasp that Israel is here to stay and that accommodating to this reality is the one thing that can bring them the generous peace they require.

You could go on citing things like this until the sun explodes. So I'll just provide one more, from a New York Republican activist. This deserves a Special Jury Prize for having been written in October, 2004:

Indeed the road to Jerusalem led through Baghdad. Without Saddam, the Israeli-Palestinian conflict can be solved under Bush's second term. And peace can begin to spread in the region, backed by 3 Democracies.

Right on! Furthermore, with people as wise and informed as this in charge of our foreign policy, I see nothing but even greater success ahead!

ALSO: Be sure to read Dennis Perrin's exegesis of the current embarrassing performance of liberal radio.

Posted at July 14, 2006 02:23 PM | TrackBack

Is it wrong for me to find it a little funny that when a Fox News crew was reporting on Israeli positions, the Israelis started shooting at them?

Posted by: blondie at July 14, 2006 03:34 PM

I like to laugh as much as the next guy, but this feels too much like July 1914. The Israelis might think that 'Clean Break' is on schedule, but I don't think they know what can of worms they've opened.

Posted by: Lloyd at July 14, 2006 05:55 PM

Peretz: "... accommodating to this reality is the one thing that can bring them the generous peace they require."

Hey, bonus Iron Law Of Generosity reference!

Posted by: Sean M at July 14, 2006 08:28 PM

I heard rumors that Damascus gets bombed before the weekend is over. This is very depressing.

Posted by: Bob In Pacifica at July 14, 2006 08:36 PM

Ha ha ha. Sob.

Posted by: Bob In Pacifica at July 14, 2006 08:37 PM

'Pink Flamingos' is a closer parable. By the way, good writing on the shadowy influence of the Rotarians. I never trusted them.

Posted by: Lloyd at July 14, 2006 11:10 PM

Oh how wonderful! We can add the road to Jerusalem to Bush accomplishments in his second term right after, um, well, let me see now, er, well you know there are just so many of them I will be sure to add them next time I post.

Wait I found them marriage is between a man and a woman, it is bad to burn the flag and we must defend "Under God" in the pledge of allegiance quickly followed by the road to Jerusalem.

I can it now, Bush with his noble brow, face to the wind, stern of eye and a steady hand at the helm driving on to Jerusalem and people will ask "Is that a bird? Is it a plane" No, it is Super Bush in his second what ever it is.

Thanks Jonathan you are a hoot.

Posted by: rob payne at July 15, 2006 01:53 AM

Notice how "they" waited to start the war until the World Cup was over? Who was behind that? The Jewish bankers? The Swiss bankers? Odessa? The global spider of TV networks? Nike?

Posted by: donescobar at July 15, 2006 08:20 AM

While it is pinning the tail on an very old and scruffy donkey, this was the Christopher Hitchens line before the 04 elections too.

However, Jonathan, while funny, you still do not get the laugh line of the week award. For the 350th week in a row, it goes to George Bush, who extends his amazing winning streak by telling Putin that he should imitate the democratic model exemplified by... wait for it... Iraq!

You can't beat the Prez!

Posted by: rogergathman at July 15, 2006 03:01 PM

rogergathman sez: "You can't beat the Prez!"

Maybe not, but I have an old Louisville Slugger in my closet that's collecting dust and is just dying to come out of mothballs to smack a Hall-of-Fame 'dinger' using der Fuhrer's head as a target!

Did I just commit an act of terrorism? Oh well! It was well worth it! See ya in Diego Garcia!

Posted by: americanintifada at July 18, 2006 07:21 AM