You may only read this site if you've purchased Our Kampf from Amazon or Powell's or me
• • •
"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show

"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket

"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming

February 01, 2006

At Last, Blessed Relief

My spam infestation—which is, frankly, somewhat embarrassing, but we're close enough I feel I can tell you these things—has seemingly diminished. I've added an MT plugin that closes comments automatically after seven days, as well as one that bans posts from open proxies. (Not knowing what an open proxy is has not hindered me here.)

So far it's working well. But please let me know if you have problems with new entries, or are suffering from desperate urges to comment on posts from June, 2004. Conversely, also let me know if you've had similar spam problem on your own MT blaeeeergh, and I may be able to help.

Many thanks to everyone who offered advice. I will surely, as the sophistication of the spam demons inexorably increases, call on you again.

AND FINALLY: I would appreciate a plethora of comments to this post, so I know things are working. If you've ever wanted to libel a billionaire, call for the violent overthrow of the US government, or post Angelina Jolie's cell phone number, now would be a good time.

Posted at February 1, 2006 04:42 AM | TrackBack

Can we libel you?

Posted by: trix at February 1, 2006 05:03 AM

Frankly, I'd be heartbroken if you didn't.

Posted by: Jonathan Schwarz at February 1, 2006 05:04 AM

Do you really think if I had Angelina Jolie's cell phone number I would post it? Not a chance.

Posted by: oldguy at February 1, 2006 05:44 AM

This is an useless message to tell you I like your blog.I usually have nothing clever to say, so I just lurk.

But since you asked for it...

Posted by: oldlion at February 1, 2006 06:15 AM

>> the sophistication of the spam demons inexorably increases

You don't get it, Jon, do you? All these "intelligent" comments you've been receiving from your so-called friends and readers all came from "sophisticated demons." The one-word, no-caps names should have been a giveaway. But no, your big thick skull (I am describing the pic you posted in your profile space) couldn't process these clues!

Unless, of course... the joke's on me. Could it be that you, too, are just a computer-generated sophisticated spam demon? Maybe, all along, I've been the only human on this blog. Now it's all beginning to make sense... Damn, it's lonely out here.

Posted by: Bernard Chazelle at February 1, 2006 08:15 AM

Speaking of phone numbers, did y'all catch Robert Fisk's article, posted on Common Dreams?

"You'd better call Shimon Peres," he told me. "Here's his home number."


Posted by: Mark Demory at February 1, 2006 09:01 AM

Bernard Chazelle,

Sorry Bernie, but you're wrong. We are real and so is Jonathan. Perhaps you only think you are the only human. I Robot?

Posted by: oldguy at February 1, 2006 09:09 AM

Bernard Chazelle,

I agree with J. Alva Scruggs. Your post "colonial blowback" is cool. Thanx.

Posted by: oldguy at February 1, 2006 09:11 AM

Here, let me add my comment to the plethora.

Posted by: BRG at February 1, 2006 10:01 AM

Posting from a cgi proxy for the fun of it.

Posted by: J. Alva Scruggs at February 1, 2006 10:15 AM

Heh. This one from Anonymizer.

Posted by: J. Alva Scruggs at February 1, 2006 10:17 AM

To clarify that, normal anonymity precautions doen't appear to trigger the anti-spam measures. I don't run Tor on this box, but on others the open proxy blocking mod has sometimes blocked commenting.

Posted by: J. Alva Scruggs at February 1, 2006 10:38 AM

Yeah, Jon--you think you can get me to comment whenever you want, just 'cause you ask? It doesn't work like that, pal.

DAMN! Outfoxed again!

Posted by: Mike at February 1, 2006 11:40 AM

Well, spam is one thing -- but what if they cloned spam from human genes! Spamo sapiens -- it would horrible! I hope congress acts on this right away. That would be the Christian thing to do, don't you think?

Posted by: roger at February 1, 2006 12:31 PM

I have a dream that somebody all the members of the Bush Gang, also known as the Cheney Administration, will receive a fair trial, and then be punished to the full extent of the law. I imagine a ceremony in the White House Rose Garden, the U.S. Air Force Band, the firing squad composed of Marines in their dress uniforms....

Posted by: Freddy the Shredder at February 1, 2006 12:47 PM

Here's my recipe for All-spice Orange-Nut Bread:

2 c sifted all-purpose flour
1 c. sugar
1 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp allspice
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 egg
2 Tbsp grated orange rind (don't skimp on this!)
2/3 c orange juice
3 Tbsp melted butter
1 c chopped nuts
Mix dry ingredients. Beat egg and combine with remaining ingredients execpt nuts. Add liquid to flour mixture all at once, but stir only until well-blended. Finally, stir in nuts. Use well-greased loaf pan (9x5x3") and bake at 350Ëšfor about 50 minutes or until loaf tests clean. Cool 5 minutes before removing from pan. Slice when loaf is completely cool. Serve with whipped butter and tea.

For violent overthrow of government, subsitute 2 cups plastique for flour and omit nuts. Note: Do Not Stir. Just launch and reload!

Posted by: mk at February 1, 2006 01:22 PM

My arse is bleeding again....

Posted by: Twisted Colour at February 1, 2006 04:24 PM

Hahaha! Two cups plastique in a 350Ëš oven for about 50 minutes. I don't think so. I'm no bomb expert, but that sounds like an explosive little bread to me.

Posted by: oldguy at February 1, 2006 06:00 PM

Since I lack wit, I will quote some luminaries of ages past:

"More grog, wench!" --- Ulfgar the Tumescent, ca. 420 AD

"Hey, I can see my house from here!" --- Louis XVI, Jan 21, 1793

"Wait, I forgot to pee!" --- Buzz Aldrin, July 16, 1969

Posted by: saurabh at February 1, 2006 06:40 PM

I really, really liked this I read at another blog (pandagon):
If there’s anything that’s more despicable than selling out freedom for security, it’s selling out freedom for a false sense of security.

Well, you SAID you wanted any kind of comments--don't great quotes from "competitiors" count?

Posted by: rubberband at February 1, 2006 07:37 PM

Too true, M. Vieux. In my haste, I neglected to stipulate that under _no_ circumstance should the plastique substitution be baked. You are too clever for moi!
As for M. Twisted, remember to grease your loaf pan liberally. Aside from this, I'm afraid I don't have any better advice.

Posted by: mk at February 1, 2006 09:07 PM

Since this is a comment thread, and since the recent Koufax awards made me aware of the problem, when the fuck are you going to get a blouaargh, mk?

Posted by: saurabh at February 1, 2006 10:51 PM

No, no blouaargh for me. I am busy cloning spam demons.

Posted by: mk at February 1, 2006 11:37 PM

does referring to your blouaargh as a blaeeeergh help reduce the sp*m you get?

Posted by: Jonathan Versen at February 2, 2006 03:10 AM

Sumthin about "grease your loaf pan liberally" just craks me up

Posted by: dandeburr at February 2, 2006 05:25 AM

I'm really mad at my coworker. He's a big jerk, and also kind of a devious a*hole. I hope he gets spit on the next time he leaves the building. (Thanks, I needed to get that out.)

Posted by: elgoodo at February 2, 2006 01:31 PM

Useless comment to say that I love your blog. The only problem with it is that it makes my own blog seem to trite by comparison.

Posted by: Paul -V- at February 2, 2006 03:45 PM

This has been a test. If this were a real comment, there would have been mispellings, er... misspelings, er... words wrongly spelled.

Posted by: cavanaghjam at February 4, 2006 10:29 AM