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January 07, 2005

Breaking News: I LIVE ON MARS

On Monday, Bush minion Peter Wehner sent an email to "opinion leaders," outlining the Bush strategy for Social Security. You can see it in its entirety at Brad DeLong's site. But here's an important excerpt:

Here's a startling fact: under current law, an average retiree in 2050 would be scheduled to receive close to 40 percent more (in real terms) in benefits than an average retiree today -- and yet there are no mechanisms in place to produce the revenue to pay out those benefits. No one on this planet can tell you why a 25-year-old person today is entitled to a 40 percent increase in Social Security benefits (in real terms) compared to what a person retiring today receives.

Wow! This is very interesting for me, because I can tell you why a 25 year-old person today is entitled to a 40% increase in Social Security benefits. In other words, I'm not on this planet.

You see, this is why it's important for me to keep up with the news. I've previously found out from the Washington Post that I'm irresponsible, and from the New York Times that I'm unreasonable. Fortunately, that doesn't matter, since I found out by reading Christopher Hitchens that I don't exist. And yet somehow I'm Swedish.

So, to recap: I am an irresponsible, unreasonable non-existent Swede living on Mars.

The surprising thing is how many of us there are.

UPDATE: Is it possible that Peter Wehner was not HIMSELF on earth when he wrote that email? Maybe he sent it from a small ship bobbing on the cold hydrogen seas of Saturn. In other words, I may still be here on the third planet from the sun!

In any case, modern life is very confusing.

Posted at January 7, 2005 10:17 AM | TrackBack

Listen buddy either you stop writing articles like this or I stop drinking liquids of any kind while I read your site because if the current situation is not rectified I am probably going to choke to death.

On a more serious note I really hope your politicians do not screw up this Social Security reform issue. This massive drive for privatisation around the world while being supposedly economically sensible has not provided much benefit to citizens. For some reason the whole process is always really shady with far too much influence excerted by those who will gain fiancially from any such privatisation.

Posted by: robboinoz at January 7, 2005 10:24 PM

You people are lucky. It is only space capsules and people calculating trillions in debt times infinity instead of something like 75 years. All I get over here is a french hip hop music channel with people singing a live french version of "Let the Sun Shine In."

And thousands of people are singing along. What is up?

It can't be possible that people are really serious over there about turning an insurance program into a gambling program. I thought gambling got disgraced last year sometime before the loufa incident.

Did the pugs finally get to take the flouride out of the water and this is the effect?

SiegeState on the Cote d'Azur

Posted by: SiegeState at January 8, 2005 08:00 PM

how we can live in mars, really waters is there in mars , really ALIENS are there.

Posted by: iqbal at May 11, 2005 07:34 AM