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May 10, 2004

Apparently I'm Swedish

Colin Powell recently explained that the Abu Ghrahib pictures "stunned every American."

I guess that means I'm not an American, since I wasn't stunned at all. It's funny, because I always thought I was American. For instance, there's my birth certificate, showing I was born in the United States. Then there's the US passport I have. But apparently the requirements for being an American are stricter than I knew.

That leaves the question of what nationality I am. Am I Mexican? Nigerian? Luxembourgian? Man, I hope I'm not Iraqi.

Leaving the little jokey jokes aside, many Americans weren't stunned by the pictures. You couldn't be if you knew anything at all about US history, or really any history. Of course, President Bush has never claimed to know anything, so I think he was telling the truth when he said Iraqis must "understand that what took place in that prison does not represent America that I know."

This was exactly the right way for him to put it. In the America he knows, the police don't pile you naked on other prisoners and take pictures. In the America Bush knows, when you get arrested the police call your rich and influential family and they come and pick you up.

Finally, here are some more words of wisdom about Iraq from Colin Powell:

Obviously, because a large foreign military presence will still be required, under U.S. command, some would say, well, then you are not giving full sovereignty. But we are giving sovereignty, so that sovereignty can be used to say: "We invite you to remain. It is a sovereign decision."

This is so true! It's exactly like the 19 Malaysian women I imprison in the sweatshop in my basement, whom I'm going to set free on June 30th. Obviously I'll continue to keep the door locked and never allow them to come upstairs. And some would say, well, you're not giving them full freedom. But I am giving them freedom, so they can freely say, "We invite you to keep us imprisoned in the basement. It is a free decision."

Posted at May 10, 2004 12:07 PM | TrackBack