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July 21, 2004

Let's Remake "Dumb & Dumber," Except With NUKES

You probably know the purported documents about Niger seeking uranium from Niger were forged incompetently. And the fact that the CIA took such clear forgeries so seriously might make you fear for America. Is it really possible that the people in charge are that stupid? (Yes.)

But the Senate Intelligence Subcommittee report on Iraq has more of the stupidity story that isn't being reported anywhere. It's also extremely funny:

...the thing that stood out immediately about the documents was that a companion document - a document included with the Niger documents that did not relate to uranium - mentioned some type of military campaign against major world powers. The members of the alleged military campaign included both Iraq and Iran, and was, according to the documents, being orchestrated through the Nigerien Embassy in Rome...

That's right! The uranium forgeries came along with a document about an attack on the rest of the world by Iraq IN ALLIANCE WITH IRAN. Moreover, this attack was going to be run via the NIGERIEN EMBASSY IN ROME.

An analyst at the State Department did notice this was... uh... not so likely. But here was the mild response at the CIA:

Two CIA Iraq WINPAC analysts told Committee staff that after looking at the documents, they did notice some inconsistencies. One of the analysts told Committee staff, "it was not immediately apparent, it was not jumping out at us that the documents were forgeries."

Uh huh. "The documents stating Dick Cheney is a giant space lizard didn't make us suspect the companion documents might be false."

I'm amazed humanity has survived this far.

Posted at July 21, 2004 10:10 PM | TrackBack

Dick Cheney IS a giant space lizard. He always has that look on his face that says "Dammit! Why did you move my rock? I was sleeping under it!"

Actually, for sheer actual lizardness (lizardity?), you really can't beat Steve Forbes, who hasn't blinked since the Nixon Administration. And even then it was only in the course of snaring a passing fly with his tongue.

Posted by: Ted at July 22, 2004 02:58 AM

Nigerien, not Nigerian. Niger and Nigeria are different countries.

Posted by: Craig at July 23, 2004 08:20 AM


Thanks. Correction made.

Posted by: Jonathan Schwarz at July 23, 2004 09:30 AM