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May 03, 2004


This morning at 8:30 am west coast time I'll be on KRBS in Oroville, CA, mostly talking about this article from If you live in Oroville, you should listen. If you don't live in Oroville, you should move there by 8:30 am west coast time.

Anyway, there were several things I couldn't squeeze into the piece. So I'm including them here, in the article commentary track.

1. The title was originally "The More Things Don't Change at All, the More They Stay the Same."

2. Truly, god only knows what was going through George Bush's head when he made the false claim about Iraqi missiles. But I speculate that somewhere, in the hall of mirrors that is his mind, he was thinking about Iraqi research into long range missiles. According to the CIA's Iraq Survey Group, Iraq was engaged in such undeclared research, which would have been a violation of UN Security Council Resolution 1441. (1441 was the resolution passed in November, 2002.)

The credibility of the U.S. government in these matters is, uh, not so great. Still, let's assume what the Iraq Survey Group says is accurate. The Washington Post's Barton Gellman wrote a long article claiming it would have taken Iraq six years to build these missiles. That's six years without UN inspections -- with them it would have taken much longer. And there's no guarantee the missiles would have worked in any case.

Now, some people think there's a difference between (a) weapons that exist now and (b) rudimentary research into weapons that might hypothetically exist in six years. And frankly, these people make me mad. They are the same people who think there's a difference between (a) me being married to Madonna now and (b) my rudimentary research into how I could hypothetically be married to Madonna in six years.

Face it, people: THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE. Hence, just as the US was justified in invading Iraq, I'm justified in invading Madonna's mansion and waiting for my bride to come home. Why can't the so-called "police" understand this?

DIANE SAWYER: But stated as a hard fact, that there were weapons of mass destruction as opposed to the possibility that he could move to acquire those weapons still —

PRESIDENT BUSH: So what's the difference?

3. Bush made another incorrect claim at the press conference: that 50 tons of mustard gas had been found in Libya. However, the press actually mentioned this. (In fact, it was only 25 tons.)

What was the difference between this and the missile statement? Presumably, the fact that "The White House moved quickly Wednesday to correct the record, with press secretary Scott McClellan seeking out reporters to point out the mistake." In other words, the media will point out Bush's mistakes when they have permission to do so. But not otherwise.

Posted at May 3, 2004 10:17 AM | TrackBack

The media are just profit-driven whores. So what we need to do is find a way to get news across in a profit-friendly way.

My idea is "Upside-Down Congressmen for Truth". The idea is that well-respected Democratic Congressmen or Senators would be suspended upside-down above the door to the Capitol holding a sign saying something like "Ask Me about Valerie Plame" or "I Know How to Intimidate Medicare Actuaries". When asked what they're doing, they simply say "I'm hanging upside down until I get interviewed live by Larry King, Jay Leno, and Wolf Blitzer". And then they state their case (upside-down, so the clip makes all the other shows).

The thing about this is that because it's a Congressman or Senator, it's automatically news. It's sort of like a talking dog; it's not what it says, it's that it talks at all. Pretty soon you'll get the news people competing to interview these upside-down people because people will watch it.

Posted by: Ted at May 3, 2004 05:01 PM

Jonathon, Your appearance was very well received. Tom and I got three calls from listeners thanking us for the interview. Sometime in the future we would like to have you back and perhaps tap a little deeper into your humor.

Posted by: Dan Gougherty at May 5, 2004 01:27 PM