Comments: Overheard On The Street

Bubby: what's a metaphor?

Gail: cows.

Posted by tiffa at December 10, 2008 09:41 AM

Hmm, can't decide.

The credit crisis in a nutshell...
The McCain campaign in a nutshell...
The GOP in a nutshell...
Twitter in a nutshell...
The Iraq War in a nutshell...

Posted by dcs at December 10, 2008 10:41 AM

Doctor: I’m afraid you have only six months to live.
Patient: I’m afraid I won’t be able to pay your bill.
Doctor: Okay, you have twelve months to live.

Posted by rob payne at December 10, 2008 06:05 PM

Nurse: "Doctor, there's an invisible man in your waiting room."
Doctor: "Tell him I can't see him."

Posted by donescobar at December 10, 2008 06:47 PM

Doctor: You have inoperable cancer of the liver.

Patient: Fuck!

Posted by Dennis Perrin at December 10, 2008 07:46 PM

DP for the win. That reminds me of one of my favorite jokes:

Q: What's worse than taking a bite of an apple and finding a worm?

A: Cancer.

Posted by Barry Freed at December 11, 2008 01:01 AM

I don't get what's so funny about any of this. All of a sudden I feel like I'm at a Dane Cook marathon.

Posted by En Ming Hee at December 11, 2008 03:20 AM

Q: What's the smartest thing to come out of a woman's mouth?

A: Einstein's cock.

Posted by Seth at December 11, 2008 09:06 AM

Go fuck yourself, Seth.

Posted by Nell at December 11, 2008 05:55 PM

Nell: I'm betting he already has, several times.

Posted by Mike Meyer at December 11, 2008 06:02 PM

You keep this up and ATR will have to change its name to Little Red Footballs.
Long Live Vaudeville!

Posted by donescobar at December 11, 2008 06:28 PM

Patient: I'm not sure I have a problem, but my family says I do, so I've come along to you.

Psychiatrist: And what do your family think the problem is?

Patient: Well, the thing is - I like pancakes.

Psychiatrist: Son, your family are confused. There's nothing wrong with liking pancakes. I myself like pancakes.

Patient: Really? You do? You should come over to my house - I've got closets full of them!

Posted by RobWeaver at December 11, 2008 08:01 PM

Seth, your general being-ness as a person is welcome here. Your persistent strain of gratuitous ugliness is not. Please shape up or prepare to ship out.

Posted by Jonathan Schwarz at December 12, 2008 02:04 AM

I accidentally set my hair on fire!

I HATE when THAT happens.

You know what I hate?
I go into the kitchen, I open the drawer, you know?
And I take out a, uh--
(Carrot scraper?)
Right. And I stick it up my nose, you know, and I'm rootin' it around, and, you know, gettin' all the mucus membranes out o' there, you know? And then I take one o' them, uh--?
(Mentholated eucalyptus cough drops?)
Right. And I stick it-- wedge it up there, you know? I take a couple o' whiffs, boy.

Heh, ya feel like your head's gonna explode.

Posted by Doctorb at December 16, 2008 04:28 AM