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"Mike and Jon, Jon and Mike—I've known them both for years, and, clearly, one of them is very funny. As for the other: truly one of the great hangers-on of our time."—Steve Bodow, head writer, The Daily Show
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"Who can really judge what's funny? If humor is a subjective medium, then can there be something that is really and truly hilarious? Me. This book."—Daniel Handler, author, Adverbs, and personal representative of Lemony Snicket
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"The good news: I thought Our Kampf was consistently hilarious. The bad news: I’m the guy who wrote Monkeybone."—Sam Hamm, screenwriter, Batman, Batman Returns, and Homecoming
February 05, 2010
NPR's Nefarious Plot to Undermine Howard Zinn
NPR's ombudswoman has acknowledged they got it wrong with their Howard Zinn obituary, and did so with a fair amount of grace.
I believe that by doing so, NPR's imperialist capitalist running dogs were attempting to prove Zinn was wrong about everything. I'M NOT FOOLED FOR A SECOND.
—Jonathan Schwarz
February 04, 2010
Poor Black People: Why Do They Incriminate Themselves on Videotape So Often?
This is from the Scott Harshbarger investigation of the ACORN video "scandal":
The videos that have been released appear to have been edited, in some cases substantially, including the insertion of a substitute voiceover for significant portions of Mr. O'Keefe's and Ms. Giles's comments, which makes it difficult to determine the questions to which ACORN employees are responding. A comparison of the publicly available transcripts to the released videos confirms that large portions of the original video have been omitted from the released versions.
And this is about the efforts of Jean-Bertrande Aristide in 1993 to win U.S. liberal support to return to the Haitian presidency after he'd been overthrown in a U.S.-supported coup several years before:
A serious, if dubious, charge was made in an effort to turn the liberals in Congress against Aristide. A video was surfaced ostensibly showing Aristide urging his supporters to “necklace” opponents, i.e., to put a burning tire around their necks. But what did Aristide really say?Sen. Tom Harkin, D-Iowa, entered the following translation into the record, but added the caveat that the only tape he had seen had been obviously edited, so he was not certain this was fully representative of what Aristide had said. The State Department’s translation of the incendiary section read as follows:
“You are watching all macoute activities throughout the country. We are watching and praying. We are watching and praying. If we catch one, do not fail to give him what he deserves. What a nice tool! What a nice instrument! [loud cheers from crowd] What a nice device! [crowd cheers] It is a pretty one. It is elegant, attractive, splendorous, graceful, and dazzling. It smells good. Wherever you go, you feel like smelling it. [crowd cheers] It is provided for by the Constitution, which bans macoutes from the political scene.”Combined with the spliced in shots of burning tires, this passage clearly sounded like Aristide was urging people to punish the macoutes in a violent way. But that was out of character with other parts of the speech, where he said:
“Your tool is in your hands. Your instrument is in your hands. Your Constitution is in your hand. Do not fail to give him what he deserves. [loud cheers from crowd]. That device is in your hands. Your trowel is in your hands. The bugle is in your hands. The Constitution is in your hands. Do not fail to give him what he deserves.”In that section, clearly the law was the weapon Aristide was urging his supporters to employ.
Later, an Internet poster who claimed to be present during this speech vigorously denied Aristide had approved of necklacing:
“I was present at that famous speech when Aristide returned from the USA. The speech was taped and cut and spliced to make it appear that Aristide condoned...even encouraged necklacing; such *was not* the case. Aristide said that he understood peoples' desire to necklace, but he emphasized that it was positively immoral.“He said words to this effect: I understand your desire to smell their burning flesh; but that is not the way of Jesus. We will win without violence; we will overcome. The anti-Aristide people spliced the tape to make it come out this way: I desire to smell their burning flesh. We will win with violence; we will overcome!”
Here's what I think about this:
1. The right-wing elements in the CIA, etc. are nothing more than grown up versions of James O'Keefe—just as moronic, just as hateful, and just as outraged that non-rich people are trying to ruin everything by voting. O'Keefe has a bright future in front of him.
2. Even if these tapes hadn't been doctored, becoming angry about what they showed would be ridiculous. After all, Goldman Sachs steals more money in one day than ACORN could ever manage in a thousand years. And god knows Aristide would have needed a thousand years to match the death toll rung up in Haiti by France, the U.S. and the Morally-Repugnant Haitian Elite (MREs).
But of course there is never, ever a sense of proportionality where powerless people are concerned. Their crimes are always front page news. That's why skilled propagandists (ie, better ones than O'Keefe) know that it's actually never necessary to doctor anything. The best propaganda is 100% true.
AND: It's not just poor black people who have a tendency to incriminate themselves on tape.
—Jonathan Schwarz
February 02, 2010
My Email to NPR's Ombudswoman
Dear Alicia,
I'm writing to thank NPR for including the views of David Horowitz in its obituary for Howard Zinn. It was very thoughtful of you to do so.
After all, if you hadn't made sure to quote some fringe right-wing crank slagging Zinn, it would have suggested that Zinn's six decades of teaching about how the U.S. functions might be wrong. But since you did include it, you demonstrated once again that Zinn was correct about NPR and the media generally: you're enthusiastic handmaidens of the U.S. government at worst, timid "liberals" terrified to step one inch out of line at best.
So this really was the greatest sendoff you could give Zinn, essentially validating his entire life. Well done.
best,
Jon Schwarz
P.S. Please don't read this on the air, since that would call Zinn's perspective into doubt.
FAIR suggests that you too write to NPR's ombudswoman here.


